


I'm Fascinated

by imyourplusone



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: 1920s, AU, F/M, jazzy fluff, new year's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-09-09 16:12:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 36,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8898847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imyourplusone/pseuds/imyourplusone
Summary: "He almost envies the jubilant mood pervading the establishment as he glances around the restaurant and thinks he could be looking at it from a great distance, so removed is he from the feeling. Just then he is met with a pair of striking blue eyes as he sees the woman who passed him earlier. The look is held only for a second before each turns away and suddenly he feels very distracted and not at all in the usual way."





	1. Someone To Watch Over Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was searching for an excuse to write Red and Lizzy at the speakeasy again and thought I'd do a 1920s New Year's one-shot. Then I got carried away so now it's a multi-chapter AU. Something fun for the end of the hiatus.
> 
> Canon elements will be used but there is no past connection between Red and Lizzy
> 
> As always thanks to TravelingSong for the edit and encouragement.

_There's a saying old_  
_Says that love is blind_  
_Still we're often told_  
_"Seek and ye shall find"_

* * *

By the time they reach the restaurant, Lizzy realizes this whole evening is a mistake. She could be at home in her drafty apartment and be more entertained than out on this bitterly cold night with…..god, she can't even remember his name! Freddy? Eddie? She has no clue other than she is bored as well as cold and the prospect of spending New Year's Eve with whatshisname is horrifying.

But her roommate Meera had all but insisted telling her it was time to meet a nice man now that her worthless ex-husband had skipped town. Lizzy has been turning down these blind dates for weeks now but had finally relented. The prospect of a fancy dinner and the chance to dress up making her relent.

If only she had known by _nice_ Meera had actually meant pompous and dull beyond all reason. _Lizzy, you can't expect every man to be like those blokes in your detective stories. Charlie is a respectable banker and after Tom I'd think you could give him a chance._

Charlie! That's it and as her friend's words come back to her she decides to persevere. No, life isn't like the mystery stories she loves full of criminals, heists and capers and the detectives that solve the crime. Life is her unfulfilling job as editor for a ladies journal and the only pleasure that gives her is burning her free copy in the stove twice a month.

Life is also being the only divorcee she knows but after years full of lies and deception she gladly used the last of her savings to extricate herself from the marriage. In truth she is doing just fine on her own or as well as can be expected. However, Meera had been insistent she not spend New Year's alone and perhaps one night out on the town will do her good.

The swanky restaurant is much nicer than anything Lizzy is used to and as the maitre d' takes her coat she fusses nervously with her dress and brings a hand to her hair, but all is forgotten as she thinks of the wonderful dinner that awaits.

She notices him on the way to their table. Just a glimpse of his profile as the man himself is partially hidden from view as he sits in one of the more private booths. The _RR_ of his platinum cufflink catches her eye as his fingers slowly drum along the table and she wonders if his dinner companion is as dull as hers.

* * *

Raymond feels the restlessness creeping in as he glances over and sees a lovely figure pass his table while the lights from the candles shimmer across her dress.

Normally he'd be sharing the evening with someone delightful and foregoing that she'd at least think him delightful. However, on this last day of the year, he found himself not very good company for anyone let alone himself and so a solitary dinner it is. He'd give anything for a scotch about now but that must wait until later as he silently curses the nonsensical law prohibiting alcohol.

Perhaps he should travel. Get out of New York for a while but there are few places he hasn't been and he has the feeling the restlessness would follow him wherever he goes. He can't seem to shake it of late and all his usual haunts don't seem to offer the same diversion.

This probably wasn't a good idea as he studies the other patrons. Couples and groups of friends gathered to celebrate the coming of a new year. What on earth made him decide to get out on a night like this in the mood he's in? But his hotel suite seemed very claustrophobic tonight and perhaps the noise of a busy city would quiet his thoughts.

He almost envies the jubilant mood pervading the establishment as he glances around the restaurant and thinks he could be looking at it from a great distance, so removed is he from the feeling. Just then he is met with a pair of striking blue eyes as he sees the woman who passed him earlier and does he imagine the same feelings reflected there? The look is held only for a second before each turns away and suddenly he feels very distracted and not at all in the usual way.

* * *

Lizzy has ordered the largest dinner possible thinking she'll be required to speak little if she eats much. Her companion barely notices as he explains the complexities of actuarial tables and she gets by with an _amazing_ and a _how fascinating_ now and then. She couldn't be less interested in his salary or new car or whatever it is he's going on about and can't seem to keep her attention focused.

Her eyes drift around to the couples and small parties and she wishes she were part of their frivolity. It has been a long time since she has toasted to the future or felt the thrill of what's to come.

The melancholy that has followed her recently returns just then. It isn't her job so much as the lack of excitement it offers. It's not the divorce so much as the wasted effort. To love someone and have them destroy it that still pulls at her. The fear that even though it is behind her, it has damaged her in ways she doesn't yet know. It is everything about this year. How she'd love to feel the promise of the new one that is arriving in a few hours instead of this lingering unrest.

Her eyes continue on their circuitous route around the room until suddenly she is looking into the face of the only other person here not enjoying this celebratory evening. The gentleman she passed earlier with the initials _RR._

She had wondered if his dinner companion was as dull as hers but now she sees he is dining alone.

"How Interesting," she murmurs turning her attention back to the discussion of federal reserve requirements.

Really she is thinking of the man across the way. Why he should be alone on a night like this? She can tell in an instant he is distinguished and worldly and would no doubt have little trouble finding someone to share the evening with. Yet here he is a solitary figure amongst the revelers.

Glancing quickly in his direction she sees that he appears lost in thought and the look on his face…..well, Lizzy has a feeling it mirrors her own. Somewhat bored but with a hint of sadness mixed in.

And before she knows it her mind has run away with her. He ignites her imagination that is captivated by the detective stories she hoards under her bed and immediately attempts to solve the mystery. What is the source of that sadness? Is it a tale similar to hers? What sort of sordid history brought him here alone? He has the look of a gentleman but she'd swear there is a bit of the criminal there two.

As dinner progresses, she steals a few more glances his way and wonders what the _RR_ stands for. Tries several names but nothing fits. _Ronald...Reginald...Robert?_ The staff all know him and he laughs with ease when anyone stops at his table but it is gone in an instant once alone again. He doesn't quite fit here on this happiest of evenings just the same as she.

She attempts to turn her attention back to her date but it does no good. For whatever reason she finds herself fascinated and not by the man sitting across from her.

* * *

His eyes are drawn to her again and again. She is beautiful but it is more than that. Something in her expression as her eyes wander the room and the wistful smile that plays at the corners of her mouth. The sadness hidden in her eyes.

Her dinner companion has talked without ceasing since she drew his attention and there is little doubt she is just as bored as he finds himself this evening. The two are not married if the lack of a wedding band is any indication. He smiles thinking this must be the arrangement of a well-meaning friend and wonders at the necessity for it. She is lovely and would have no trouble finding more enjoyable company than her present situation.

 _She was talked into this,_ he thinks, and it piques his curiosity. Why was there a need? Did someone hurt her causing that pained look to come and go as she gazes at the couples around her?

For some unfathomable reason he has a thousand questions and thinks the man across from her a damn fool. If he were in his place he'd ask every one of them just to hear her talk. Just to know her.

With a shake of his head he forces his attention back to his coffee. He is getting carried away which is territory he has little experience with.

It does no good. His eyes return to her direction and is almost certain she was just looking at him. He'd think he imagined it if not for the faint blush on her cheeks. Well, this is interesting.

And suddenly the boredom and restlessness are gone. Glancing at his watch he counts the few hours until midnight and without stopping to talk himself out of it, decides to try his luck and perhaps leave this year much better than he found it.

* * *

With dinner behind her, Lizzy wants nothing more than to end the evening but her date seems in no rush. He finally excuses himself for a moment and she takes the opportunity to close her eyes and let the noise of the room fade away.

"We make quite a pair, you and I."

The words are spoken low and close and even before she opens her eyes, she knows. That deep voice could only belong to one man.

Her eyes open to find him seated across from her in the spot vacated by her date and appearing completely at ease as if taking another man's place is a common occurrence. It probably is if that glint in his eye is anything to go by.

Sitting up a little straighter and stealing a glance behind her Lizzy can think of no other response than, "I beg your pardon?"

He smiles and continues, "We seem to be the only two individuals alone and not particularly enjoying this festive night. I'm wondering why that is but I suddenly realized there is no need to finish the evening as it started."

Lizzy's mouth has dropped open listening to him and is nothing short of astonished. She is not unused to men approaching her but not men such as this. Mysterious strangers who speak as if they know all her secrets.

"I'm actually not alone-"

"If you are referring to your gentleman friend then again I assure you, you are very much alone. Whoever arranged it must not know you well or perhaps they want to lessen the sadness that still lingers from whoever came before," he says as he gauges her reaction to his words.

"She knows me quite well, I assure you and..."

Lizzy stops, realizing she has revealed too much. Oh, he is clever but two can play at that game.

"And what about you? The staff know _you_ very well so I imagine you come here frequently," and tilting her head she studies him before continuing, "and I imagine always in the company of a lady, but not tonight. I wonder why that is. Does this time of year remind you of something or someone?"

The smile is gone now as she comes dangerously close to the truth.

"How observant we both are. I'm intrigued."

"You may be intrigued but I am not amused. If you'll excuse me."

"Ah yes of course, I'll get to it then. I came to offer an invitation. I've decided to end the year with some excellent music in a little club I know. You are welcome to accompany me. In fact, I'd be honored if you would."

She is speechless and seeing her shock he continues, "I promise you will be quite safe."

And he has the nerve to smile as if this is the most natural thing in the world. Well, it probably is. He is probably used to getting his way in all manner of situations.

"Look Mr. whoever you are, I've had enough. My date will be returning momentarily and it is time for you to go."

"As you wish, but a word of advice if I may. I'd watch out for that one. He's a wolf in sheep's clothing. I assure you, you won't be as safe with him as you will be with me."

And with a wink he is gone. A wink! Lizzy finds herself out of breath and as discomposed as she has ever been. One thing is for sure, he is a scoundrel and the cads in her mystery stories have nothing on him.

To make matters worse, Charlie has no sooner returned to the table when he does just what was foretold to her. The _let's have a private party at my place_ and _I have a stash of champagne_ completely at odds with the man who has droned on about credit expansion for the last half hour.

She's not sure what angers her more. That he expects her to say yes or that the mystery gentleman from across the way guessed what would happen. Well either way Lizzy has had it with this year and wants nothing more than to go home and sleep the rest of it away.

His _Hey_ _doll, Meera said you were fun_ reaches her ears but he says it to her back as she walks to the exit, retrieves her coat and not stopping to put it on walks out of the restaurant.

It seems everyone in New York is out tonight and she finds herself jostled by the crowd as she struggles with her coat.

"Allow me."

The words are spoken right by her ear sending a not unpleasant shiver down her back that is very irritating right then.

Glancing over her shoulder she says with exasperation, "You again?"

Now with his fedora pulled down low and the collar of his coat up to protect against the cold, he looks very much the criminal she earlier imagined he could be. However she is freezing and allows him to assist her with her coat as he chuckles at her words.

"I see he was a faster worker than even I realized."

Just as she turns to tell him where he can go she is knocked straight into his chest and he instinctively reaches out to steady her keeping a gentle grip on her arms to protect her from the passers by.

"Are you alright? We may need to move to a safer spot. Do you have a way home Miss...?"

It is the strangest thing. She suddenly knows he would never hurt her. This scoundrel and lord knows what else would never allow any harm to come to her. They stand in the middle of the sidewalk as the sea of people stream around them and Lizzy makes a decision.

"What does the _RR_ stand for?" and at his puzzled expression continues, "On your cufflink?"

He's a little caught off guard by how closely she observed him as he was doing the same of her. Not only is he intrigued he is downright fascinated at this point and how long has it been since that has happened? A very long time indeed.

"Raymond Reddington, a pleasure," he answers drawing her still ungloved hand to his lips.

 _My goodness, now that name certainly does fit_ she thinks. There's no turning back now and she suddenly doesn't want to. Her drafty apartment seems even colder and she finds the idea of passing the new year in the company of a fellow lonely stranger a most pleasant prospect.

"Well Mr. Reddington, if your invitation still stands, I accept."

His surprise is evident but covering quickly he makes a request of his own, "Only on the condition you tell me whose company I'll be enjoying this evening."

"Elizabeth Keen, also a pleasure," she answers with the first hint of amusement since he sat at her table.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she is surprised at her boldness but standing here on the sidewalk with the throngs of people out to celebrate it seems a perfectly normal thing to do.

"Miss Keen, the night is young and growing colder by the moment. My car awaits," and she allows him to lead her to the car where his driver stands with an open door.

As they settle in the backseat, he asks Edward for a blanket and tucks it around her legs murmuring _you must be chilled through_ and she is struck by his kindness in the simple act. Lizzy wonders just what she's gotten herself into as the car merges with the traffic and they set out for an unknown destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles and lyrics from the great standards written in the 20s. It really is amazing how so many of them came from that decade.
> 
> Thought I'd bring Meera back since she's a lot of fun and would make a great friend for Liz.


	2. Bye Bye Blackbird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos. Enjoy!

_Nobody seems to love or understand me_  
_And all the hard luck stories they keep handing me_  
_Where somebody shines a light_  
_I'll be coming on home tonight_

* * *

Lizzy relaxes into the plush velvet seat as the car creeps through the crowded Manhattan streets. Wherever they are going it may take a good while to get there but she is in no hurry. It is hours till midnight and the car is comfortable and warm. A definite improvement over the solitary walk home she was dreading only a few minutes ago.

"Are you warm enough?"

It is the first he has spoken since they set off, finding himself disconcerted that she actually said yes. If he were honest with himself right then he'd admit to being a little nervous. Something else he hasn't experienced in a very long time and he sees that the woman who is the reason for it feels the same as her hands tremble putting on her gloves. Another interesting observation that he stores away.

"I am, thank you," and because she feels that flutter of nerves continues, "Mr. Reddington, I'm holding you to your promise that I'll be safe with you this evening. I'm not in the habit of accepting invitations from strange men."

"Miss Keen, I assure you my only intention tonight is to share with you some conversation, excellent jazz and perhaps a dance. I think we'd both like to see the year end much better than we currently find it. That is all and afterward I will see you safely home."

The feeling from the sidewalk returns and she relaxes again sensing the truth in his words.

"Why did you give me that warning about my date? How did you know?"

"Ah well, I saw the way he looked at you when you weren't looking, and the way you were looking anywhere but him let me know you were completely unaware."

It seems he saw a great deal while she was focused on anything other than her date.

"Thank you. I don't have the best of luck with…."

She doesn't finish the thought and turns her attention to the lights passing outside. It is difficult to see through the fogged windows but everything is a blurry sparkle and she thinks it's lovely. Like looking at the world from behind a veil and not seeing all its sharp edges.

"Sometimes it only takes a second for your luck to change."

He's not sure why he said it. Something in the tone of her voice perhaps. That sadness he had glimpsed earlier and evident in her words had prompted his remark. The same reason he had crossed the room and sat across from her.

There is no other conversation as each is lost in thought but after several blocks the car pulls to the curb and he turns saying, "We'll walk the last from here if you don't mind."

After exiting the car and adjusting his fedora he turns offering her a hand but doesn't release it once they are on the sidewalk, instead folding it into the crook of his elbow linking their arms. She is glad for his steadiness as a few flurries have started to fall and holds on with her other hand as well. They walk a block and turn right and Lizzy is just about to ask where they are going when he stops suddenly, looks behind them, then taking her hand leads her down a flight of stairs to a basement entrance. The street is quiet and appears residential to her and suddenly the nerves are back but before she can object he has knocked four times. A small window on the door opens immediately but it is covered in a heavy screen and Lizzy cannot see what lies beyond.

"What color is the sky?"

The question comes from a female voice hidden from their view.

"Red."

At his answer the door is opened and he pulls her inside where it is immediately shut and bolted by a small bespectacled woman and Lizzy's first impression is that she honestly looks like a librarian.

"Mr. Kaplan we are in desperate need of jazz and drink. Miss Keen, this is Mr. Kaplan. She will take your coat if you please."

He has already removed his coat and fedora freeing his hands to help with hers. Once they are handed over, the woman is gone in a flash and Lizzy feels his hand at her elbow leading her down a long wood paneled hallway.

"You said _Mr_. Kaplan?"

"I did indeed."

"But she's a-"

"Yes and a lovelier person you will never meet."

"Okay," she says with a smile already loving this mysterious secret place.

They have reached the end of the hall and he opens the door to the sound of music and laughter.

* * *

Beyond the door they step into what appears to be a small club. A jazz band plays at the opposite end of the room with couples filling the dance floor. There are numerous tables circling the room with a candle on each casting strange shapes on the ceiling above. It is cozy and warm and perfect.

Lizzy takes it all in as he guides her past a long mahogany bar toward the left side of the small raised platform where the musicians are situated. She is aware that they have caught the attention of everyone in the room, or at least it is he that draws the eye of those they pass.

The staff and many of the guests greet him, all addressing him as Mr. Reddington. As they reach their table holding a _reserved_ placard, she sees the musicians acknowledge him with a nod of the head and she realizes this isn't only a club he frequents, it is a club he owns.

She feels giddy never having been in an establishment such as this, only having read about them in her mystery stories. Goodness, the times she has imagined the thrill of giving a secret password to allow entrance into this forbidden world.

"Miss Keen, you are positively grinning," he says after holding a chair for her and sitting himself.

Turning to him with that beautiful smile and the light of the candle playing across her face, she takes his breath away. It is the first real smile he has seen from her and he is pleased, more than pleased, it is directed at him.

"You've brought me to a blind pig."

He laughs out loud and finds her enthusiasm contagious. "I have at that although I usually refer to it as a private social club. Where on earth did you hear that term?"

"Oh, from stories I read. I've always wanted to visit one but never had the nerve and I've never known where one was to be honest. But it's beautiful, really beautiful."

She is rambling and he is completely enchanted. So different from the women he usually spends time with who perhaps have seen a little too much of the world to really enjoy it anymore or find themselves just as bored as he has been.

As she leans toward him, he meets her halfway and she whispers, "You're the owner, aren't you? You're not a gangster, are you?"

He answers her in the same conspiratorial whisper, "I am many things but a gangster is not one. I'd say I'm a dabbler in many a sundry venture, a few of which are technically on the wrong side of the law. This club allows me the opportunity to enjoy myself without involvement in the more organized aspect of….bootlegging, to use a term I'm sure you're familiar with."

Seeing her expression he continues, "You look somewhat disappointed to discover I'm not such a hardened criminal."

Well gangster or not she thinks there is definitely a bit of the scoundrel in him as was her first impression. With a laugh and a shake of her head she continues her study of the room before looking back toward him with a smile.

"I'm not disappointed in the least, Mr. Reddington."

"Then may I make a request? Will you join me in a drink and perhaps call me Raymond."

"That's two requests," she teases. "Yes Raymond, I will share a drink with you, but please call me Elizabeth or Lizzy. Most people call me Lizzy."

She stops before she starts rambling again and turns her attention to the musicians, trying to steady her breathing as she feels him study her out of the corner of her eye. His admiration is evident and it excites her but her mind returns to the divorce decree she received earlier this year. It is always there. The fear of another mistake, another betrayal. It has taken so much to get her life back together and she reminds herself to be careful. Very careful of a certain charming criminal and this world that is not her own. But for this one night as the old year falls away she intends to enjoy every last second.


	3. Just You, Just Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _And now we welcome the new year,_  
>  _Full of things that have never been_  
>  Rainer Maria Rilke
> 
> Thanks for reading!

_Every sweetheart_  
_That the world has known_  
_Hopes to find someday_  
_A perfect hideaway_

* * *

There are certainly larger New Year's parties in much more posh surroundings, but Lizzy thinks this small _club_ to be the perfect setting. The gathering is just the right size to be lively yet not overwhelming. As foretold, the jazz is excellent and she is enthralled.

She feels a hand lightly touch her forearm as it rests on the table and turns to see Raymond smiling at her.

"I've been asking what you'd like to drink but you've been in another world."

Another world indeed. One of passwords and secrets and just a bit of danger thrown in. After all this time in New York why is this the first time she has ventured out to one of these hideaways? There is only one answer, of course. The man she came to this city with and who she only this year managed to extricate from her life. The one that manipulated and controlled, who took every last feeling of happiness from her.

Again, as so many times before, she hates those wasted years. Hates what she missed while the world went on around her. But maybe it is as it should be. Perhaps she would never have appreciated this night as much without all that came before. Perhaps it is time to not let any more opportunities pass her by.

"Oh, whatever you're having is fine."

"Well, I'm having scotch so…"

But at her smile he stops and nods to the waiter to bring the drinks. She turns back to the music and he watches her for several moments wondering at the shadow that passed over her features. He recalls how he felt at the restaurant, wanting to sit with her, talk with her. Feeling certain it would take a lifetime to know her and also certain he would enjoy every moment of it.

But at this moment it is all about the jazz.

It is not often he is able to concentrate on the music without the distraction of too much conversation, too much noise. Watching her fascination with the performers he sees them through her eyes and appreciates their artistry more than he has in a long time.

"Lizzy, look at his hands in this next section. He is a wonder."

She leans over to obtain a better vantage point of the piano and ends up bringing her chair closer to Raymond's side of the table. He is right as she watches the piano player's fingers fly across the keys and it is beautiful.

Their drinks arrive and after a clink of the glasses he takes a swig and she takes a sip. He chuckles at her raspy _smooth_ but makes no comment.

It happens gradually without any thought on their part. As the music continues he shares his knowledge of the style and the musicians themselves. He has known them many years and they come and go at times but eventually find their way back to play for this small crowd. They talk of their favorite selections from this modern age and find they share many in common.

For a while they are oblivious to the room sitting close in conversation or simply listening to the music. His arm gravitates around her as she leans into him and it doesn't go unnoticed by either how natural it feels. Eventually he whispers close to her ear _Dance with me, Lizzy_ and she feels a little flutter as they join the other couples on the dance floor.

He is used to the company of women. Casual acquaintances that come and go without much emotional entanglement on either side, but as soon as he takes her in his arms he knows this can never be casual or a meaningless flirtation.

She's not sure when she has ever been in the company of a man that seems so totally focused on her, so attentive to her comfort. Nor one so at ease with himself as they circle the room mingling with the guests. He knows them all as this club is apparently very exclusive which he explains is the reason it has gone unnoticed from the gangsters, as she calls them, or the police.

They eventually make their way to the bar which is a little removed from the rest of the crowd. Raymond signals for another scotch then arching a brow at Lizzy, she requests champagne instead.

"So you've never been raided?" she asks trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice but he sees it in her face.

"Sorry to disappoint but no and up till now I've been very proud of that accomplishment."

Seeing his wounded pride, she gives his arm a pat.

"You should be very proud but it does sound exciting with the cops breaking down the front door as everyone sneaks out the back. I bet you have an escape route of some sort. You'd make sure your guests get out safely, I'm sure."

At his knowing look she laughs, "I knew it. Is it a secret tunnel? A false door to a hidden room?"

"Lizzy, you have the wildest imagination but you can't find out all my secrets on the first night. What's the fun in that?"

There is something in his voice, something in the way it drops lower as he says it that causes a certain feeling in her chest. _Well, so much for being careful._

"That would require many nights, I think."

And hearing the way that sounded and the comical expression on his face she clarifies, "Oh you know what I mean."

"Well, I'll drink to more nights discovering secrets," he says, raising his glass to hers. "To the future."

She had thought about this only hours before. How long it has been since the future seemed a real and meaningful thing. Something to look forward to and not just pass through without thought or plan much less toast to its arrival. She has lived so long simply surviving each day and realizes this never changed even after her divorce. It was too ingrained. Now, and with everything she has experienced since this mysterious man sat down across from her, it seems close enough to touch.

"To the future."

Their glasses clink in perfect time with the band leader beginning the countdown to midnight with the crowd joining in.

10...9...8…

As they take a sip and stand up at the rear of the room.

7...6...5…

As he takes her hand and she lets him.

4...3...2…

As they glance at each other while the last second falls.

...1

As the room erupts in noise and the music grows loud again, it seems strangely calm where they stand with her hand still held in his.

"Happy New Year, Lizzy. I sincerely hope this one is better than the last."

It's a wonder she can hear the whispered words and maybe it is only that she is so focused on his face that they make it through the tumult. It is no idle sentiment either as evidenced by the earnestness of his words, but a heartfelt wish that she will be happier than she has been.

Standing there, she realizes she wants the same for him. Whatever led him to that solitary dinner or the wistful expression reflected in his features when lost in thought, she hopes it will let him be. That perhaps it will remain in the past now that the future is arriving.

"Raymond, I wish the same for you, more than anything."

Here they are again. A little apart from the celebration and looking from a distance it might appear they are not as jubilant as the night calls for but in truth they feel a hopefulness stirring. Something neither has felt in many New Years that have come and gone.

"May I kiss you...for luck?"

The way he asks first and the way she sees him swallow waiting for her response, she will always remember.

"Of course," is her answer because what else could it be.

She closes her eyes at the last second and the kiss lands softly on her cheek and that surely isn't a feeling of….

"Ah disappointed again, I think. I see that I may have my work cut out for me where you're concerned," he murmurs looking thoroughly amused.

"Now look-"

But she doesn't finish the thought as his lips softy brush her own. For so chaste a kiss the impact is felt by both in the attraction that has been there from the beginning but also something more significant. Almost like a promise.

"Raymond, I'm not disappointed," she murmurs when he draws back to look at her with that glint in his eye.

"Neither am I, neither am I. You know what I wonder?"

She is wondering many things all of a sudden and is definitely curious about the look behind his eyes.

At her quizzical expression he continues, "I wonder what this song really means. Are we to remember our old acquaintance or recall that we forgot them? How do we remember we forgot when they're forgotten in the first place? I've never known what it's telling me."

He is teasing again and for the first time she notices the crowd has stopped to sing the old traditional.

Loving the way he makes her laugh and linking her arm through his, she says, "I believe it means we should finish this drink and join the celebration."

"Lizzy, I like the way you think."

* * *

It is the early hours of the morning when his car pulls to the curb outside her building. The party went on for hours and they were the last to leave. She must have danced with all the gentlemen there but Raymond always found her after a time and she was in his arms once again when the last song played. Already they recognize each other's touch and the feel of their hands together.

He hates to wake her as she dozes with her head on his shoulder but all perfect evenings eventually must end and soon the sun will be coming up.

"Elizabeth."

She stirs at her whispered name and sees they've arrived at her building.

The city is finally quiet as he walks her to the door of her apartment keeping an arm around her as they navigate the icy sidewalk.

"See, safe and sound back home as promised."

"I never doubted that for a moment," and she smiles at his chuckle.

It is bitterly cold and she can see their breath in the pre-dawn light but somehow she still feels warm inside. Full of champagne and jazz and something very nice that comes and goes when he looks her way or touches her as he is right now.

"Thank you for tonight, I mean that. It was…"

What? Perfect and maybe what has finally let her believe she can be happy again? A very hard thing to put into words but there is no need.

"I know. I feel the same."

They are stalling, not quite sure how to proceed now that the night is over. Because it was supposed to only be for one evening, wasn't it? A distraction for both except it doesn't feel like an ending when they're here at the beginning of…..something.

He is wholly unused to feeling so unsure of himself but this is different….she is different and too important to treat as he would any other new acquaintance.

"Raymond-"

"Lizzy-"

They say it at the same time and the nervousness leaves as they realize they probably want the same thing.

"Were you going to say you want to see me again because if so the answer is yes," she asks because she is starting to get sleepy again and needs to know what he's thinking.

And she has the answer before he says the words and oh how she loves the way he looks at her.

"You took the words right out of my mouth. How about dinner and perhaps we can eat together this time?"

"That's perfect. When?"

"Tonight of course. The year is flying by, Lizzy."

She is smiling as she reaches up to kiss him on the cheek telling him to, "Go on and get some sleep, you scoundrel."

His laughter is the last thing she hears as she walks inside and it is a long time before Raymond remembers how cold it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to _When Harry Met Sally_ with the _Auld Lang Syne_ bit. It's was too good to pass up.


	4. 'S Wonderful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks for the comments and kudos. 
> 
> Happy New Year!

_'S wonderful! 'S marvelous_  
_You should care for me_  
_'S awful nice! 'S paradise  
_ _'S what I love to see_

* * *

Lizzy slips quietly into the apartment and leans against the closed door with her eyes shut. She can't believe the night she just experienced or this man she met. Can't believe any of it is real or that she will be seeing him tonight. All her plans for being careful completely upended and there is just one reason for it.

_Raymond._

She smiles thinking of the music and the candlelight. The softness of his lips on hers and…

"My god, I didn't think Charlie had it in him."

Lizzy startles, jumping away from the door, and sees Meera smiling at her. She is wrapped head to foot in a blanket and has been curled up dozing in the chair apparently waiting for her to come home.

"God, Meera you scared me to death! What on earth are you doing out here?"

"Never mind about that. Spill it. Where have you been and what have you been up to," she asks with a knowing smile and is rewarded with a roll of Lizzy's eyes.

"Come on Lizzy, fess up."

She laughs, passing her friend on the way to her bedroom, and hears Meara trailing along after her. "For your information, Charlie was a horrible bore and then as a reward for his constant bank talk, wanted me to go to his place for a _private_ _party_. Thanks so much for that, by the way."

But it is said with humor to her friend who is always very protective and seeing the scowl starting on her face, she might just be a little worried for Charlie in all honesty.

"I swear to god I'm going to kill him. I told him to be nice and only take you out for a good dinner. He's so dull I thought he'd be a safe introduction back into the world of men after Tom."

"Oh don't kill him, he's pretty harmless, but you are out of the men-finding business where I'm concerned," Lizzy says with a laugh.

She throws her dress towards a chair in the corner and climbs straight into bed in her slip. The exhaustion is overwhelming and she immediately closes her eyes. "Meera you have to let me sleep," she mumbles, feeling Meera sit on the edge of the bed and give her leg a poke through the cover.

"Are you joking? It's five in the morning, Lizzy! I'm not leaving and you're not sleeping until I know what happened and who it happened with."

With a sigh she decides to hit the highlights hoping it will be enough to satisfy her friend until a later more detailed conversation can take place.

"I noticed a man at the restaurant and he noticed me and when Charlie left the table he came over and sort of….invited me out. It's a long story but we ended up at a blind pig he owns and there was jazz and champagne and dancing and it was incredible actually."

She still has her eyes closed but hearing no response, reluctantly opens them to see Meera looking at her with wonder.

"You don't have to look so surprised, you know."

"Don't look so surprised! I haven't been able to get you on a date all year and in one evening you see a man across a crowded room and end up spending the night with him. With a gangster no less!"

She is positively astonished and also appears positively overjoyed that the man happens to be a criminal. Laughing, Lizzy quickly clarifies, "I didn't spend the night with him. Well, technically I did but not the way you're imagining. Besides he's not a gangster, more of a gentleman criminal is my guess. So that's it basically and you need to let me sleep since he's coming to take me to dinner tonight."

"What? A second date on the same day? Lizzy, tell me everything right now!"

Meera is beaming but Lizzy is barely conscious as she snuggles down under the blanket and closes her eyes.

"I'll tell you everything later and you'll meet him tonight, I promise. Now beat it and go to sleep."

"Okay, okay," Meera says with a sigh, but stopping at the door to switch off the light she turns back toward the lump under the covers. "Across a crowded room. That is really something, you know."

The lump mumbles incoherently and Meera doesn't hear but she is smiling on the way to her room. After everything her friend has been through, no one deserves it more than Lizzy. And if this man hurts her, she swears he will have hell to pay.

* * *

Lizzy stands at the mirror adjusting the soft curls of her short hair. Turning to the side she adjusts the dropped waistline of her dress and likes the way the beading catches the light.

"You look great, stop fussing," Meera says from the doorway to her room. "Here, put these on."

She takes the offered earrings which she has always admired and thinks her friend isn't fooling anyone as she goes to the window for the hundredth time trying to catch a glimpse of the mysterious stranger. She is just as excited as Lizzy and damn curious to get a look at him.

"Thank you, they're perfect."

They both turn toward the knocking at the door and Lizzy gets in a quick _now be nice_ as her friend goes to answer.

Coming into the room, she watches from a distance as Meera ushers him into the small sitting area, handling her own introduction with an outstretched hand. Reaching for his hat and coat, she lets it be known he will be staying for a few minutes and there is really no choice in the matter.

Raymond sees her from the corner of his eye as she stands in the doorway and it is just the same as before. In a crowd of a thousand he's certain their eyes would find each other.

She walks to him and receives a kiss on the cheek and a _you look lovely._ He is rewarded with a beautiful smile while her hand reaches out to smooth his tie and vest.

And hearing a little snicker they turn to see Meera smiling at them and Lizzy steps back with an exasperated shake of her head for her friend.

Raymond turns to sit in order to receive the grilling he has a feeling is on the way, but before Meera has a chance he interjects, "Now am I to understand you are the friend who is responsible for Elizabeth's unfortunate date last night?"

Looking a little taken aback and not at all used to not being in control she replies, "Mr. Reddington, it's like this-"

"Please call me Raymond. May I call you Meera? I feel somehow we will be friends, especially since we have an important shared interest" he says, pausing to look at Lizzy before continuing, "I really must thank you, my dear. If not for you we would not have met and for that I will always be grateful."

Lizzy is looking at this scene in amazement, seeing him win her friend over so quickly. What also strikes her is how honest it is. There is nothing insincere in his words and if there is anyone who has learned to detect falsehood it is her. He is genuinely grateful to have met her and the feeling that stirs within is really very nice.

"Yes well, I'm happy things turned out for the best," Meera says, turning with raised eyebrows toward her friend. She is a little bowled over by the look of her and Lizzy can hardly blame her. He really is quite something at times.

They chat for awhile longer and Lizzy lets them carry the majority of the conversation knowing this is a ritual to be played out between them. Concerned friend and potential….something that she doesn't want to name so early in their acquaintance. It is hard not to laugh at the picture they make though as he charms and Meera ultimately approves of him and his involvement with her friend.

Later, as Raymond helps her into the back of his car, he notices her expression and asks, "What's that smile for if I may ask?"

"Oh you know what it's for. You just thoroughly charmed Meera and that is really saying something. I didn't think it possible."

"Now Lizzy, I was completely honest when I said I approved of her terrible taste in dating prospects for you."

It is said in jest as she is learning is his habit when deflecting attention away from himself.

"I know you were and I also think you were very kind in dealing with my friend's interrogation the way you did. Thank you," she says quietly, reaching over to take his hand.

Giving her hand a squeeze and not letting go, he replies, "You're worth that and much more."

* * *

As enjoyable as New Year's had been he feels a less raucous evening is just what they both need and takes her to a small out of the way restaurant where the food is excellent, the law ignored and liquor is served.

Lizzy excuses herself to the ladies lounge to remove her hat and coat telling him to order her drink and surprise her.

When she joins him in their booth a few minutes later there is already a drink waiting for her, but before she can comment Red leans toward her whispering loudly, "Now if the coppers raid the joint, just throw the hooch in that plant above your shoulder and we'll beat it out the back."

She is beginning to see how much he enjoys teasing her or perhaps it is a desire to make her laugh. Suddenly she thinks it is very much the latter as she recognizes the thoughtfulness hidden behind his humor.

"You slay me," she says with a roll of her eyes, earning her a chuckle. "What is this anyway? It doesn't look familiar."

"Ah, this is a divine little drink called the aviation cocktail. It always reminds me-"

"It tastes like spring, I think," she says after a sip and looks up to see that he has gone very still and is looking at her curiously. "It must be the color. Reminds me of violets which are my favorite….what is it?"

She finally asks not understanding his expression.

"Lizzy, you are wonderful. I've always said these are perfect for summer days in the country but spring will do just as well. Considering the temperature outside I thought a reminder of warmer days ahead just the thing."

She smiles at this little nothing that feels like something but is also struck by these gifts he gives. These small gestures that are becoming so important to her. A blanket when he worried she was too cold. A wish for a better year. Patience toward her friend. And now the image of a warm Spring day on this cold winter's evening.

There is something there that is more than mere kindness. It is in the way he views the world. The beauty he sees in it even with all its harshness.

* * *

Raymond doesn't ask all of his questions but he makes a good start. Mostly concerning her job and friends. He learns a few details of her childhood in Nebraska and her thoughts on New York. He stays away from anything too personal, just enjoying hearing her talk. She tells of the rather stuffy lady's journal she edits and although she feels lucky to have the position, it is not exactly exciting even as she tries to liven it up.

"What would you do if you could choose? You're a writer, aren't you? Would you prefer that as opposed to being an editor?"

"Oh, I'm not a writer. That is, I used to write when I was younger but not anymore. Not since…."

How does he know these things, guess these things about her? How was he able to look across a room a discern so much? And now this. Something very few people even know about her at this point. This bittersweet thing from long ago that she fears going near again.

He realizes he has struck a nerve and something in her expression reminds him of the previous evening and what initially prompted him to approach her. It had not been his intention to push her, only wanting to know her better.

She will not disclose it tonight, he feels certain, but before changing the subject to a lighter topic he says quietly, "Lizzy, I think there is the writer in you yet. I so enjoy the way you see the world and the pleasure you're able to find in it. There is a universe of words inside you, I'm absolutely certain."

He makes her head spin and she has a sensation of moving too fast and attempting to keep her balance. It's not unpleasant but it is rather unsettling as he constantly throws her off kilter.

When he asks to see her again and _is tomorrow night too soon_ she feels the need to stop, to get her bearings. Whatever is between them seems too strong for such a short time and her hesitancy from the previous night returns.

"No, not tomorrow night."

And seeing him withdraw from her, she immediately reaches out placing a hand on his arm.

"Not _no_ forever, Raymond. Just _no_ for tomorrow because I have to work and I can't do this every night no matter how enjoyable it is. I'm sure you're very good at sweeping women off their feet but I'm afraid I need my feet in the office bright and early."

When he relaxes and returns her smile she feels the tension leave her.

"Of course, I should have been aware and as pleasant as the sweeping image is I will leave it to you to set the date."

She realizes how nervous she was waiting for his response. Not knowing what to expect only knowing what she is used to. Anger and control without thought for her wishes. Such a contrast to Raymond in every way. She hopes she won't always draw comparisons. That those dark days will become a faint memory and perhaps one day leave her thoughts entirely.

Feeling his hand cover hers she almost believes in the possibility of it.

"How about lunch on Thursday and I'm free this weekend?"

* * *

He walks her to her door but at her invitation to come in for coffee he shakes his head.

"I think I better not push my luck with Ms. Malik and I have a feeling she's waiting to make sure you arrive safe and sound."

"I think you may be right. Thursday then?"

"Thursday with pleasure," he says leaning in to kiss her cheek.

And if there is the slightest disappointment, well, she does want to take things slowly after all. Although not too slow and she smiles thinking of the week ahead.

"Lizzy, I just realized it was about this time last night we met. What a difference a day makes. Didn't I tell you, your luck could change in a second?"

"Indeed. And later you kissed me for luck but not on the cheek."

There is humor in her words and just the hint of a challenge.

One that he recognizes and accepts as he draws her close. "Then I suppose we shouldn't tempt fate."

The words a whisper as his lips meet hers, softly at first then with an intensity that surprises them both. She pulls back to search his features, to gauge his reaction. There it is. The same desire mirrored in his eyes and she renews the kiss, deeper this time. Feels the pressure of his hands at her back and sinks into him. Even bundled up as they are, their bodies react to the other's touch as she reaches her arms around his neck bringing them closer still.

He finally pulls back sensing they could very easily get carried away out here in the hall like a couple of kids. Perhaps he's not ready as well and understands her wish to slow down. What a day indeed and he needs to regain some rational thought which is damn difficult with the feel of her in his arms.

They take a moment to catch their breath before she whispers, "As far as luck goes I think we're doing wonderfully well."

"That'll tide us over till Thursday without a doubt." And he thinks there could be nothing sweeter than the sound of her laughter.

* * *

When she lets herself into the apartment, she has forgotten about Meera….forgotten about everything and leans back against the door thinking of all that has happened this last day. And that kiss...

"My god, you're completely goofy over this man."

"Meera, will you stop scaring me to death," she exclaims and walking into the sitting room sees, once again, her friend's knowing smile. "Oh shut it. Besides this is all your fault."

"You're welcome."

And the night ends much the same as the previous with Meera's quest for details and Lizzy's need for sleep after an exhausting twenty-four hours. When her friend finally retreats, Lizzy falls asleep smiling, thinking of the best day in many, many days.

Across town, alone in his hotel suite, Raymond does the same.


	5. Ain't We Got Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Old fashioned date night time....
> 
> Enjoy and as always thanks for reading!

_When I first saw you_  
_I had but one thought_  
_And then you chased me  
_ _Oh, until you were caught_

* * *

"So this is where you spend your days."

Lizzy is standing with her back to the office door, checking the journal's print layout when she hears that recognizable deep voice behind her. Also recognizable is the flutter in her stomach and the way her pulse instantly jumps.

Turning she finds him leaning against the door frame and wonders how long he has been there watching her. She's missed him these last few days. Perhaps they needed a day or two apart to get their bearings but she felt a restlessness growing to see him again.

Looking beyond she sees her secretary is not at her desk which accounts for his unannounced arrival.

"Raymond, you do enjoy sneaking up on me, don't you?" she says with a smile, but noticing the time she realizes the reason for it. They were supposed to have met out front fifteen minutes ago.

"Good lord at the time. I'm sorry to keep you waiting but the layout for this next edition is a nightmare and I'm trying to find an extra two inches...two inches! Might as well be two feet."

She stops realizing she's off on a tangent and he is delighted as evidenced by the smile on his face. Taking a breath, she goes to him and receives a kiss but only on the cheek. Standing on her tiptoes she glances over his shoulder and seeing the outer office still empty, whispers, "Coast is clear."

Reaching out he takes her by her upper arms and pulls her in for a proper kiss and damn those two inches from distracting her. She can feel the cold from outside still on him and knows he is chilled from waiting for her.

"You're freezing," she murmurs against his lips and pulls back to run her hands up and down his coat sleeves.

"Oh I'm warming up quite nicely." And he doesn't miss how the color rises in her cheeks.

She turns to put her hat on in an endeavor to maintain some amount of office decorum and he steps forward to look at the copy spread out on her desk. Coming to stand by him, she tells him a little more about the journal and the offending article that went long requiring more space. He truly is interested, asking several questions about the content and the printing process.

"Lizzy, this is fascinating. I've always fancied myself a great reader but never gave much thought to the process of the printed page. You should be very proud."

And hearing his words, she is proud. Even though she'd rather work for a literary magazine she is happy with her work here. It's hard to remember that sometimes when her job was a constant source of irritation during her marriage while also being the main source of income.

"Thank you, Raymond. I need to remember that more often I think."

He reaches an arm around her giving her a squeeze and just then they hear from over their shoulders, "Miss Keen, is there anything I can help you with?"

Her secretary has returned and is no doubt curious at the man making himself quite at home with her boss. Lizzy moves to put her coat on telling her she will be leaving for lunch and ushers him out of the office.

But as they pass, he stops to introduce himself, which Lizzy would have done herself had she been thinking clearly. Just as with Meera she witnesses her secretary succumb to his charm which once again is completely sincere. She is honestly amazed.

"Mary, you say? What a lovely name. I don't believe I have ever come across an unpleasant _Mary_ in my life," and at Lizzy's insistent tug on his arm continues, "It seems Miss Keen is anxious for lunch so I will bid you adieu."

The enraptured expression on Mary's face is hard to miss and Lizzy thinks of the office gossip mill that will certainly be running overtime today. She'd also be lying if she didn't admit to being just a little happy it includes her this time.

He's grinning broadly as they step out onto the sidewalk, seeing Lizzy so flustered and knowing he is the reason for it.

Shaking her head at him, she says with exasperation, "Come on Casanova, there's a greasy spoon around the corner since I don't have much time today."

"Sounds charming. Lead the way Lizzy, I'm all yours."

* * *

Lunch is a quick affair and she is pleased it doesn't bother him. They talk a little more about the journal going to print the next morning and she asks a few questions about what he does when not rescuing strange women from their boring dinner dates.

Apart from owning a blind pig and being a _dabbler_ as he calls it, she knows very little about him. But perhaps that isn't entirely the case, she thinks, seeing him as completely at ease in this local lunch dive as the swanky restaurant from New Year's. Not only at ease, but enjoying himself immensely talking to Mack, the owner, about the meatloaf's secret ingredient. He is interested in everyone he meets and treats them all the same.

Staying away from what is too personal, she asks about his interests other than music and happens upon an appalling tidbit.

"What do you mean you've never seen a Chaplin film? What about Buster Keaton? How is that possible?"

With an amused shake of his head he attempts an explanation, "Lizzy, I assure you it isn't out of loathing for the art form. I just never seem to manage it."

"Hmmm," is her dubious reaction. "Well, we're going to manage it this Saturday unless you had something else in mind."

He wouldn't dare and actually the thought of a darkened theater seems just the thing right about then.

With a wink he calls over to the owner, "Mack, tell me which you prefer. Chaplin or Keaton? Miss Keen is taking me to the picture show this Saturday."

And he makes her blush again as several of the patrons smile at them. He is absolutely shameless at times.

"Aw now that's like asking me to pick my favorite kid. Besides, judging by the company, you'll enjoy whatever is on the screen," is the laughing reply.

When they are back on the sidewalk for the short walk back to her office, she links her arm through his knowing she will miss him again after they part.

"You're sweet, you know that?"

"Sweet? I've been called many things but I do believe that's a new one," he says, a little surprised at her offhand remark.

"It's true, though."

And after the last few years, his kindness means the world to her.

Stopping outside her building, she gives him a quick kiss adding, "That's for luck so I can find my two inches. See you this weekend."

She is gone in a flash and he wishes it were already Saturday.

* * *

"So what do you have planned for us this evening?"

They are settling into the back of his car and she leans forward telling Edward to, "Take us to _The Capitol,_ please."

To Raymond she replies, "And it's none of your beeswax, you'll see when we get there. Honestly I still cannot fathom how you've never been to the cinema."

"Now Lizzy, I've seen a few early films but I seem to prefer live performances over recorded entertainment."

She sits back adjusting her gloves and he doesn't miss her knowing smile. "We'll just see about that."

And _see_ he does.

He is used to the theater district and the large vaudeville shows but this enormous theater for a picture show of all things is quite impressive. They mill about enjoying the entertainment provided for the patrons waiting on the film and have dinner in one of the restaurants on site.

As the usher leads them to their seat he cannot get over the sheer number of people gathered in the theater. It must be in the thousands.

He hadn't paid attention to the marquis when they arrived and it's not until they are settled in their seats that he finds out what she has chosen for them to see.

"It's Buster Keaton in _Sherlock Jr._ which I haven't seen but I think you will enjoy it. His feats of daring are not to be believed..."

He loves to hear her ramble and listens as she tells him what she knows of the plot. "Ah, he's a detective. You'll appreciate that I'm sure," he says, knowing her to be an avid fan of mysteries.

And as they talk they don't notice the theater has filled or the passing of time until the orchestra signals for quiet as the movie begins.

Later he will never really know what he enjoyed more. The film itself which was superb and unlike anything he's ever seen. The stunts which he told her later must be some type of film magic, but she assures him everything is real. His reaction in perfect sync with that of the crowd. The ooh's and ahh's and laughter of thousands in attendance to enjoy this one thing.

Of course it is probably that they held hands throughout much of the film. Until the end, that is, when the boy woos the girl and Lizzy rested her head on his shoulder as his arm came around her.

Maybe it was the newness of it. Perhaps that is one reason for the sense of boredom that plagued him these last months. No new adventures had come his way but suddenly he thinks she is very much the adventure he's been waiting for.

"Lizzy, this was marvelous. I believe in the future we should alternate planning our engagements in order that we not miss out on anything exciting."

It is not lost on her that he is hopeful there will be many future dates and she likes the sound of that. Likes the thought of spending time with him and getting to know him better. Something that may take some doing but they have plenty of time. Spring will arrive in a few months and the new year holds all the promise in the world.

* * *

When he walks her to her door, she invites him in as she did before only this time letting him know there is nothing to fear as Meera is out on a date of her own.

"Unchaperoned Miss Keen? What on earth will the neighbors think?"

He is teasing again and she laughingly pushes him through the door telling him to, "Shush. Make yourself useful and find some music on the radio. I'll make the coffee."

There is soft jazz tonight and they drink their coffee while listening and not doing much talking. She slips off her shoes and moves closer to his side and he once again brings his arm around her.

She recalls his words from earlier and their plan to spend time together. There is still so much to learn about one another and before she can talk herself out of it….

"Raymond?"

"Yes, what is it?" he asks after several seconds when she doesn't continue.

Pulling back to see his expression, she searches his eyes before going on, "You know how you called me _Miss_ _Keen_ earlier? It's not technically _Miss_ but rather _Mrs_. or at least it was up until earlier this year. I thought you should know since we're…"

She trails off not sure yet what exactly they _are_ but whatever it is, it feels wrong not to tell him.

There it is or part of it at least. He had wondered but had no intention of broaching the subject, wanting her to share her history at her own time.

"Lizzy, I'm glad you told me but it doesn't change how I feel. I hope you know that. Are you alright?"

He asks recalling the sorrow he glimpsed in her features the night at the restaurant. The same look that appears fleetingly only to disappear again. Proof that something still pains her from the past.

They remain sitting close and she reaches out to place a hand on his chest. Feeling the soft wool of his jacket beneath her fingers but really just wanting that connection to him.

"I will be alright and I am in many ways. It was a terrible marriage and….he hurt me…as much as a husband can hurt a wife, I suppose."

She's never talked about it and the words catch in her throat. Only Meera is aware and even then only to an extent.

Seeing her struggle and the sadness in her features, he finally understands. Her carefulness and hesitancy. Meera's protectiveness. The need to slow down in this rush of emotion they've experienced since meeting.

"I just wanted to tell you."

He gathers her back close to his side and kisses her softly through her hair. He asks no questions, sensing she has said everything she is capable of right then. That she trusted him enough to tell him, well, it feels like a gift.

"Thank you, Lizzy," is his only response and they relax once more to listen to the music.

After a little while she hears him softly say, "This must be the reason for Meera telling me she'll break me in two if I ever hurt you."

Looking up at him, he sees her smile and is relieved. She's not yet ready to tell him the entirety of the story and he will wait, but her sadness is hard to bear.

"You're joking."

"I promise I never joke about a threat against my life," and her soft laugh is music to his ears. "I also promise I will never knowingly do anything to cause you pain."

"I know that."

They are not just words. She believes him. In the deepest part of her, she knows he is unlike any man she has ever met and the exact opposite of the one that hurt her so deeply.

It is she that pulls him closer this time and this is enough for now. A small step but with it, she feels like a little of the burden she carries has been lifted. This secret she doesn't share is heavy at times but it seems lighter now with him near. She thinks she will tell him all of it one day, in fact she's sure of it.

With her there in his arms, he can't possibly understand how someone would willingly harm her and experiences a rage unlike any he has felt in years. It is probably a very good thing he doesn't know the ex-husband's location right then. In fact, it would be a very good thing that he never learn it.

However, this unknown man is not the priority and as he holds her, he reminds himself of that.

_I will be alright._

Her answer to his question. Not quite there but well on her way and that he can be with her is another gift.

For the second time in his life he has been entrusted with something precious and he vows to protect her. May he do a better job this time than the first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The specifics of Lizzy's first marriage are something she will share privately with Raymond. Other than being an imposter, Tom's crimes closely mirror what we saw in s1 so we'll not intrude on that conversation.


	6. Heebie Jeebies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so appreciative of the interest in this story. Honestly it was never going to be anything more than a one-shot but it won't let me go just yet. Thanks for all the kudos and comments. They mean so much. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_Say, I've got the Heebies_  
_I mean the Jeebies…_  
_Say, come on now and do that dance  
_ _They call the Heebie Jeebies dance_

* * *

_The year is flying by, Lizzy._

His words to her in the early morning hours of New Year's Day and although said in jest, they now seem accurate. Before they know it the weeks have passed and January comes to a close.

They seem to have slipped into a sort of limbo that holds its own routine. Lunch a few times a week or an early dinner. Weekends spent together as they stick to Raymond's plan of each choosing the destination. The time goes by in a rush but they are in no hurry. Knowing how deeply Lizzy has been hurt and she sensing something of the same in him, they are content for the time being to remain in this state of carefulness.

But sometimes she has a fleeting sense of…..discontent, perhaps. Frustration that she can't seem to break down the barriers he surrounds himself with. They have talked for hours and although she has a clear sense of his character, she has little knowledge of his life. He has regaled her with stories from every part of the world but any attempt on her part to understand why he has spent so much of that life roaming from place to place is met with evasion or humor. Anything to keep a certain distance between them.

Other than the speakeasy she has no clear reference point for him. He simply materializes out of the blue as they enjoy what New York has to offer and then drives off into the snowy night. To where, she still has no idea. Up to this point the mystery has been exciting and intriguing but it is not sustainable.

She never lets him know it bothers her, telling herself everything happens in its time and for now she waits.

Then, as chance would have it, she receives a bit of information from an unexpected source.

* * *

They've spent the evening at his speakeasy and the crowd was just as lively as on New Year's. The band is heading to Chicago for an extended engagement and unless Raymond brings in another group, this will be the last night the club is open for a few months. It has been another all-nighter as no one wanted it to end and also wanting to send them off in style.

Lizzy has made her way to the coat room through the paneled hallway and bumps into Mr. Kaplan as she comes back out. Raymond is saying goodbye to the band once more, letting them know to call on him if the need should arise and not wanting to rush him she decides to remain by the entrance.

"Mr. Kaplan, what will you do with yourself now that the club will be closed?"

It is an attempt at small talk and a way to break the tension. Well, not tension exactly, but the few times she has been here with Raymond, she gets the distinct impression that Mr. Kaplan is studying her or judging her just a little. Perhaps trying to ascertain Lizzy's intentions toward her boss, and she feels like Raymond must have felt when he met Meera for the first time.

"Oh I'll be busy enough, dearie, I assure you."

Lizzy makes no response to the clipped reply and concentrates on adjusting her gloves, hoping Raymond will be along shortly. She knows the woman is studying her once again and is surprised to hear her continue in a much friendlier tone.

"Elizabeth, are you aware Raymond's birthday is coming up on the seventh?"

"Why….no, I'm not actually."

Mr. Kaplan gives her one last searching look and seems to reach a decision. "I thought it not likely that he would tell you himself but I'm sure you'd want to know. It can be difficult sometimes to obtain information from the source but keep at it."

With that she is gone and Lizzy feels she has passed a test of some sort. How she wishes she could get _the source_ to open up to her, but she finds that the knowledge she has Mr. Kaplan's approval means a great deal to her.

She wonders why he never mentioned it but then again there is so much he's never talked about. Should she pretend she doesn't know and simply proceed with their usual routine? No, there's a reason Mr. Kaplan told her, therefore she will acknowledge the day.

And now she only needs to come up with a birthday plan for this man she is still struggling to understand and who has the ability to get everything he wants at his fingertips.

* * *

Luckily, his birthday will fall on a Saturday this year and also luckily it is her turn to choose the itinerary so perhaps she'll actually be able to surprise him after all.

It is not until a few days before that she finally has a plan. When in doubt there is always jazz so jazz it will be. Spying a little snippet in The Times she thinks this will be just the thing.

When he meets her for lunch at the greasy spoon that has become their regular lunch place, she wonders if he'll tell her, but he never does. Is it enough for him that, regardless of her knowing, the fact they'll be together will make the day meaningful to him? She honestly doesn't know.

They are just finishing lunch when he brings up the subject of their usual Saturday date.

"Lizzy, you haven't said what you have in store for us tomorrow."

"No, I haven't. You should pick me up at seven and the dress is formal."

She continues sipping her coffee, looking out the window at the passers-by as he watches her, waiting for further details.

"That's it? That's all you're telling me?"

She smiles, savoring these rare small moments when she knows something he does not and also knowing how it bothers him makes it that much sweeter.

"That's it, I'm afraid."

"You're getting very secretive, you know that?"

"Oh I think secrets are your department, Raymond."

The retort is sharper than she intended and for a moment he looks unsure how to respond but she quickly laughs to convey a joking manner. They relax and continue the banter for a few minutes until it is time for her return to the office.

But it can't be ignored any longer, this she is sure of. His secrecy is starting to grate on her and the last hope that he would open up just a little and let her know a simple thing like his birthday has faded. Her offhand remark proof that there is the beginning of annoyance and before it grows to something worse she will need to address it.

However, it will keep until after the weekend then she will see how to proceed.

* * *

As it approaches seven Lizzy finds herself getting more and more excited. Also a little nervous and hopes he will enjoy the evening as he did on their movie date. All the little moments he has tried to make special for her cross her mind and she wants this for him as well.

He arrives in a tux and doesn't miss her appreciative once-over, never having seen him in formal attire. She most definitely notices that look in his eye seeing her new dress. The hemline is daringly short and she loves the way the fringe sways when she moves. It is sleeveless and a tad low cut and all her worries that she may be a little chilly leave as soon as he looks at her. She feels the flush rise under his steady gaze and suddenly her drafty apartment feels quite warm.

"Lizzy, you look…"

She'll take speechlessness any day and comes to run a hand down the lapel of his jacket. "You too, Raymond."

When he helps her slip into her coat, he reaches down to kiss her neck and here's something new! For weeks now there has been nothing beyond some very passionate kisses and although they seem to touch each other quite a bit there has been nothing more intimate than the holding of hands or an arm around the other.

One or the other will often stop the proceedings somehow sensing the timing isn't right just yet. There is a sweetness to it, this building toward something, and in these first weeks it has seemed the natural course.

Until tonight reminds them that what they've had won't always be enough.

"If you think that's going to make me tell you where we're going, you're mistaken."

There is the slightest tremble in her voice letting him know she's not as unaffected as she is letting on. In truth, she never wants him to stop as she feels the soft laughter against her skin where he's been trailing kisses along the back of her neck.

"Ah well, it was worth a try."

And already she misses his touch as they leave the apartment.

He tries again to get a hint or two once they're in the car, but she says nothing and it is not until they pull to the curb does he know their destination. They pass through the throngs of people beneath the shining marquis and enter The Roseland.

As they make their way through, she notices the crowd is large and loud and she can't imagine what it will be like once the music gets going. It's like looking at a sea of jewels with the flappers arrayed in every possible color. They shimmer and sparkle next to the gentleman in their finest and the throng seems to go on forever.

Finally entering the ballroom, she leans into him to explain.

"Now I'd imagine a group this large would not be your first choice but trust me, it will be worth it."

And it is.

As soon as the music starts he realizes why she picked this particular venue. The young horn player from Chicago he's been hearing about takes the stage with the orchestra and steals the show.

"Is that-"

"Yes, it's Louis Armstrong. I remembered you talking about him with the fellas at the speakeasy and thought you might enjoy-"

She doesn't finish the sentence as he pulls her to his side kissing her temple and she has her answer. Enjoy it he does as they sit side by side much like their first evening together enjoying the music until the restlessness takes over and they join the crowd on the dance floor.

She was correct in saying these huge crowds are usually not his first choice, preferring the intimacy of the smaller jazz clubs. However, he and everyone there know they are witnessing something truly amazing in this gifted young musician and it is the perfect night.

In the early hours of the morning, as the crowd is winding down, they share one more dance and he holds her close wondering how on earth he got so lucky.

Hearing her mumble something against his chest he whispers, "What was that?"

She pulls back so he can hear her and her words are a complete surprise. "I said I almost forgot. Happy birthday. Well, it's after midnight now so I supposed it's a belated birthday wish."

She is smiling tiredly but triumphantly as her plan came together splendidly.

"You did all this for…..Lizzy, how-"

He is honestly amazed having imagined it to be a happy coincidence. Something wonderful on a day that typically brings no joy.

"You could have told me, Raymond. It may seem like a small thing but I want to know all of the small things."

He feels the sting of guilt and she is right, of course. He should have told her knowing she would want to make it special. Which she still somehow managed to do.

"It's been a long time since I celebrated the day. How did you know?"

"I hope you won't mind but Mr. Kaplan told me," and at his immediate chuckle she asks, "Why are you laughing?"

"Because she would never have told you unless she approved of you. This is quite a feat you've accomplished."

"Like you with Meera."

They both smile feeling a little proud in all honesty.

"Lizzy, according to those closest to us, we must be doing alright."

She leans in to kiss him before adding, "We are, but Raymond from now on let"s celebrate the day. Promise?"

"Promise."

They _are_ doing alright she thinks considering the few short weeks since they met. As he kisses her again, she lets go of all other thoughts, all the doubts that have begun to run through her mind. He has many secrets but one thing she is certain of. They are not the type of secrets that destroyed her marriage.

There is a time for everything, she reminds herself, and tonight is not the night to push for answers he is unwilling or unable to give just yet.

When he takes her home, he follows her in so they can talk for a few minutes. Another evening where they stall for time not wanting it to end.

She has tossed her coat on the chair and turns back toward him, reaching out to run her hands inside his coat pulling him forward.

"Lizzy, thank you for tonight."

He hopes the simple words are enough to let her know how much the evening has meant to him. Not for the first time, he wishes he could tell her….so many things. Perhaps everything, but he wouldn't know where to find the words.

She holds on a little tighter before he goes because there has never been a night where she came so close to telling him to take her home with him, but how can she when she has no idea where that home is. Knowing he wants the same but he has never suggested anything further. She is fairly certain she understands some of the reasons why that is and she supposes time will tell.

And so it seems they'll remain in this state of limbo at least for now. Raymond not quite knowing how to proceed and Lizzy not quite knowing how to reach him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Louis Armstrong so there was no way Red and Lizzy wouldn't hear him play in person and both tell me it was nothing short of magical that night. I believe it.


	7. Stardust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more somber in tone as we get a glimpse of Raymond's past. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading.

_Though I dream in vain_  
_In my heart it always will remain_  
_My stardust melody  
_ _The memory of love's refrain_

* * *

"Ms. Keen, this was just delivered for you."

Lizzy looks up to find her secretary holding an envelope and, glancing behind, sees Raymond's chauffeur waiting in the outer office.

"Thank you, Mary," she says, taking the letter. "Would you have that gentleman step in, please?"

Opening the envelope, she looks up to greet Edward as he walks in, then reads the enclosed note.

_Lizzy,_  
_I'm afraid I will need to postpone seeing you_  
_tonight as the trip to Boston seems to have tired_  
_me out. I will contact you in a few days and hope  
_ _you are well._

_Yours,  
_ _R_

After reading it a second time, she asks Edward, "Didn't he return from Boston yesterday?"

The poor man looks distinctly uncomfortable and makes no response. Lizzy is aware his loyalties lie with Raymond, but she pushes anyway. There is something not quite right in the tone of this note.

"I'm not asking you to betray his confidence, but I want to know what is really going on," and looking down at the words once more she asks, "Is he sick?"

That is it exactly. She can tell in Edward's expression she has guessed correctly.

_Tired me out._

So they are back to the secrets again, she thinks, feeling the annoyance give way to anger at last. Well, enough is enough. She had held off forcing the subject these last few weeks since his birthday hoping he would gradually open up to her. However, not much changed and then the business trip to Boston came up forcing the issue even further to the side.

But no more.

Addressing the man who still has yet to utter a word, she leaves no room for argument, "Edward, tell Mr. Reddington I insist on seeing him. Tell him I expect you outside my office in one hour's time to drive me to wherever it is he calls home. You may also inform him if that does not occur then there is no need to contact me in the future."

His only response is a nod and a tip of his cap, but just as he reaches the door, she calls out, "I'm very sorry to put you in the middle of this."

"Don't worry about that, Miss, I'll be happy to deliver your message."

Not missing the smile before he turns to leave, Lizzy thinks she has gained his approval as well.

* * *

As Edward leaves the suite to make his return to Lizzy's office, Raymond doesn't know whether to admire her pluck or be annoyed as hell. Perhaps a little of both, but what choice does he have?

None it seems. He could tell in the tone of her message as relayed through his chauffeur, who appeared quite smug while doing so, that she means business.

This is not the way he wants her to see him though. A little out of sorts and feeling very much under the weather does not bode well. He also doesn't particularly want her here in this temporary home for many reasons, if he'd be honest with himself, but foremost the thought of it throws him off balance.

He senses he will not be in control of the situation. In fact he is sure of it.

* * *

Lizzy supposes she is a little surprised to see Edward waiting for her at the curb as she steps out of the office an hour later knowing her ultimatum will not have gone over well with his boss. However, he says nothing after his standard greeting and she asks no questions on their ride uptown until the car pulls to a stop.

"You're joshing me," as he helps her from the car in front of _The Plaza._

"No Miss, I rarely kid," he says with enough humor in his voice that Lizzy has to smile.

She walks a few paces toward the door then stops, feeling uncertain how to proceed, until Edward steps beside her telling her the suite number and adding, "You'll do fine, Miss."

Taking a deep breath, she forces her feet forward.

Making her way through the opulent lobby to the bank of elevators, she is trying to understand this. All this time she has assumed he had an apartment somewhere but out of some sense of propriety had never taken her there. And now this odd discovery. She finds herself more confused than ever with even more unanswered questions to add to all the others.

These secrets are starting to add up and the picture they are painting is not at all to her liking. By the time she reaches the suite and sharply raps on the door, the anger has returned full force and she is telling herself not to jump to conclusions.

As soon as he opens the door she knows he is well and truly sick. She takes in everything at once from the flush at his cheeks, the glass of scotch in his hand to his bare feet as he stands there in his pajamas and robe.

Taking a deep breath, she attempts to gain control of her emotions because underneath the anger and the secrets there is one simple fact. She loves him and as annoyed as that makes her right then it is still just as true.

* * *

"Raymond, give me that," is the only greeting he receives and feels his glass of scotch being taken away and a firm hand on his upper arm steering him back into the living area.

Without a doubt she is angry and the guilt he experienced on his birthday returns in an instant. He has hurt her again and feels like the basest cad in that moment.

"Lizzy, I-"

"Out here in your bare feet, boozing it up and probably running a fever by the look of you."

She continues muttering under her breath and Raymond decides he'd be best off not trying to offer an explanation just then as she guides him through to the bedroom, telling him to get back in bed.

After taking the robe, she comes back to prop the pillows behind him allowing him to sit up and fusses with the blankets until finally sitting beside him.

The coolness of her hand on his forehead feels like heaven and he closes his eyes. He has hardly slept the past two nights and the exhaustion is finally taking over.

"You do feel a bit warm. How long have you been this way? Have you seen a doctor?"

Opening his tired eyes he sees how worried she is under all the anger. "It is only a cold. I didn't want to risk you getting sick which is why I didn't mention it."

Immediately the anger is flashing in her eyes.

"Baloney. That is not the reason or only a very small part of it. You didn't want me here because you can't let me be close to you. Do you ever allow anyone to help you? Is there ever a moment of vulnerability on your part?"

He offers no answer because, in truth, she already has it.

"What if it were me? If I were sick, even with a cold, and didn't tell you. You need to think about that."

"Lizzy-"

But she doesn't let him finish, instead standing up and motioning for him to lie down. "Later, it will keep for now. You're exhausted and need to rest."

He does as she says as his last reserves leave him. Closing his eyes as she adjusts the pillows once more, he drifts off to sleep with the feel of her hand on his forehead.

* * *

"What on earth," she whispers, as she walks back into the living room and for the first time appreciates the luxury of the hotel suite. Going to stand at the window, she looks at the park view with the snow still in the trees from the recent storm and it is lovely. Clean and bright and also a little removed from reality up here.

Making a decision she goes to the phone, calling the concierge to have Edward sent to the suite. She then has the switchboard connect her to her apartment and thankfully Meera has just arrived home. After explaining the situation to her friend and asking her to pack a few things to be picked up by the chauffeur, she's not exactly sure the story of Raymond's illness is believed and with an exasperated _will_ _you_ _just get packing_ , hangs up the phone.

As the afternoon turns to evening she is certain of a fever and after hearing him start to cough, places a call to have a physician located and sent up immediately.

She is again sitting by his side holding a damp cloth to his forehead, when he stirs enough to smile at her and take her hand before nodding off again.

_Dammit, where is the doctor?_

She feels a lump rise in her throat and hates this helplessness as well as the anger that was between them.

Finally, there is the knock at the door and she ushers the doctor in. They rouse Raymond into a sitting position so he can listen to his chest and Lizzy steps into the living room to give them privacy.

The doctor returns shortly and right away puts her mind at ease. "Nothing too serious, just a cold and a miserable one at that. I've given him aspirin for the fever and I expect that will help."

"Thank goodness for that. I was worried about the cough."

She has been pacing the room as her agitation grew and her imagination took over. With a sigh of relief she attempts to gain control of her emotions and holds onto the back of the chair to stop her nervous movements.

"Well, seeing his back I expected to hear more labored breathing but his lungs sound healthy and strong. Only a small congestion as one would expect."

"I'm sorry...his back?"

And not realizing she is ignorant of what he speaks, the doctor continues, "Yes, he is very lucky to have escaped without permanent damage. The burns must have been quite severe."

She makes no response beyond thanking him and shows him to the door. Turning back, she stands looking toward the bedroom for a long time until finally returning to check on him.

He is fast asleep again and facing away from her as she sits by him. She can't process what she has learned. Even without the details of the injury, she experiences such an acute pain for what he has suffered that it washes away the anger.

Running a hand along his back she can feel the mottled skin through the thin silk of the pajama top. Yes, the burns must have been quite severe judging by the extensive area involved.

He murmurs something she can't understand and she rises not wanting to disturb him further but leans down brushing her lips on his temple before leaving the room.

* * *

He wakes sometime in the early morning, but with the drapes pulled it is hard to tell what part of the day it is. The fever broke sometime during the night and he has a vague recollection of a doctor and later Lizzy periodically feeling his forehead until finally he slipped into a deep sleep.

Now looking around as his eyes adjust to the dim light he sees her asleep on the chaise in the corner, bundled under several blankets as far as he can tell. The emotion that comes from this image of her vigil at his side cuts right through him. Even with the illness and exhaustion he feels perhaps he is thinking clearly for the first time in many years and finally understands what she is to him and what he must do. He fights to stay awake not wanting to take his eyes from her but he is still too weak and drifts off once more.

When he opens his eyes several hours later it is to Lizzy's hand against his cheek as she checks for a fever.

"Hey, look who finally decided to wake up."

Nothing has ever sounded as sweet as her voice without the frustration or anger he so rightly deserves.

"I must be dying for you to be this nice to me."

It comes out in a rasp letting him know he is far from recovered. Add to that the sensation of having been hit by a truck and he'll admit to feeling very poorly indeed.

"Shhhh, you're not dying and though you don't deserve it I've decided to be nice to you for the time being."

She has never looked lovelier than that moment smiling down at him. A little rumpled from sleep and is that….

"Lizzy, are you wearing one of my pajama tops?"

"Oh god, don't ask. I called Meera to send some things with Edward and either she didn't believe me when I told her you were sick or she thinks it's July judging by her choice in nightclothes for me."

He smiles weakly at the image of her in a rather sheer nightgown peeking out from under the pajama top she put on to ward off the chill. Since he is apparently not dying he finds himself enjoying it very much and recognizing his expression she arches a brow at him.

"Remember you're sick, Raymond."

"I'm feeling remarkably better all of a sudden."

"That's swell then because you're going to get up and have a shower while I order you some breakfast. That should give the maid enough time to come in and put fresh linens on the bed."

She's fairly sure she hears him mutter _killjoy_ but says nothing as she steers him toward the bath, closing the door behind him.

The maid has been dispatched and breakfast laid out by the time he shuffles out to the living area, squinting at the light pouring in. She is sipping orange juice as cheerful as he's ever seen her, probably owing to the fact she is now dressed preventing him from catching a second view of that nightgown.

"How are you feeling, Casanova?"

"Like absolute death."

Laughing, she comes to take his arm, leading him to the table.

"I thought as much. Try to eat something and here's some juice."

She fusses over him and he lets her. Enjoys it, he doesn't mind admitting, and could very easily get used to it.

He stays up most of the afternoon lying on the sofa with a few blankets she tucks around him. With the way his head is throbbing the radio or reading is not an option but he confesses to the purchase of several detective magazines that he's started perusing and would she mind reading aloud for awhile.

She smiles knowing he bought them because of her, and they spend the afternoon lost in intrigue.

* * *

It is that evening he finds the words. He wasn't sure how to start so he simply picked a spot and began there.

"I was running late."

He had dozed off in the early evening after managing a little soup and returning to bed. She had brought a book in to read and was lounging on the chaise wanting to be near if he needed anything and wasn't aware he had woken up until she heard the whispered words.

She looks up to find him watching her but not understanding she says quietly, "What did you say, Raymond?"

"I was running late. Just like always."

Coming to sit next to him she searches his face but sees no flush to his cheeks and reaching out, doesn't feel a return of the fever.

He takes her hand, bringing it down from his brow, and looking into the face of the only other woman he has ever loved, tells her of the first.

"She didn't want me to go, but of course I didn't listen. Thought I could make the trip and be back in plenty of time. It was business….something that needed my attention but I can't even recall it now, it was that unimportant. I had hoped that by taking care of whatever it was, my schedule would be clear for a week or two and we could enjoy the holiday."

Lizzy has stopped breathing not wanting to interrupt and draws a quiet breath in. He is lost somewhere in the past, looking at a point over her shoulder.

"I had missed Christmas Eve and was thinking how to make it up to them when I looked up and saw the glow in the sky, not understanding what it was until I reached the house. We were in Arlington at the time and a row house two down from us caught fire and spread. An ember from the fireplace apparently."

He is speaking so softly she finds herself leaning toward him a little and reaches an arm across his body wanting him to feel her presence.

"The firemen had only just arrived and were trying to clear the homes but hadn't made it to mine. They saved those in the first and the one next to ours was empty with the family away for Christmas. Our house was the furthest away, the furthest from the source."

And somehow the most devastation was theirs to bear.

"They were overcome by smoke…."

He stops for so long she wonders if he'll be able to continue. His eyes continue searching that long ago memory and she knows she will never fully comprehend what he sees there.

"Smoke always arrives before the flame. Odd that we assume fire to be the most destructive force."

He stops once more until she prompts him to continue, needing him to finish what he started. Knowing he needs to as well.

"Who were _they_ , Raymond?"

"My wife….and daughter. The smoke billowed in from two doors down and they were gone just like that," and the agony is unmistakeable as it seeps into his voice. As it fills every part of the room without anywhere for it to go just as the smoke once did that stole away his family.

"Dear god-"

"She asked me not to make the trip and if I had only listened."

"You would have died alongside them," she says, grasping his upper arms, willing him to come back to her.

"But I'll never know that for sure."

It is useless to think otherwise. He'll never know and has struggled under the weight of that guilt for decades now. It is his penance and will follow him all of his days.

"How were you burned?" She whispers the question that has haunted her through the night.

For the first time he leaves the past and focuses once more on her face. Seeing the question in his eyes she answers it with, "The doctor."

"They found Carla first but my child's room was at the back of the house, harder to get to. I ran in blindly, madly searching for her. They said part of a wall collapsed, but were able to find us and bring us both out right as the roof gave way. It was too late, though. I was too late."

Reaching up, he grips her arms that are still around him. Holds on as he draws in a breath almost surprised he is able to after recounting the memory of a family he left behind the day he turned from their graves and never stopped running.

"I've never told anyone that, Lizzy, not in twenty years. I loved them and failed them miserably."

"Is this why you live in a hotel? Do you have anything of permanence in these places you've been roaming to all these years?"

"I don't have a home because it burned to the ground before my eyes and took everything with it I had ever loved."

What words are there in response to such horrors? There are none and climbing under the covers, she curls into him and feels his arms come around pulling her close.

"Raymond, what was your daughter's name?"

Because she needs to know as her heart breaks for this man whose scars burn much deeper than those written on his back.

"Jennifer."

The last word he is able to speak until, at last, his breathing slows with sleep. Long into the night she keeps their arms linked together as the tears silently fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this AU there is no past Naval Intelligence or betrayal and no mystery connected to Raymond's family. He simply loved his wife and child and lost them to a house fire.


	8. Let's Do It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

_Birds do it, bees do it_  
_Even educated fleas do it  
_ _Let's do it, let's fall in love_

* * *

Raymond wakes in much the same position as when he finally fell into an exhausted sleep, on his side with his arms around Lizzy. They seem to have entwined into one another, neither willing to move from the protective haven their bodies have made.

He buries his face in her hair, closing his eyes once more and stays long after he should have risen. Long after the aching in his body and pain in his head began to demand attention. He stays because she may be the only thing holding him together just then with the memories cutting into him like a knife.

He stays because she soothes his soul and he simply can't run anymore.

And no longer wants to.

The next time he stirs, the pain behind his eyes has intensified and he reluctantly pulls away in search of the tablets left by the doctor. Lizzy barely registers the movement and he wonders how long she remained awake. Judging by how deeply she is sleeping and what looks to be the evidence of tears on her face, he feels it was many hours before she could rest.

He sighs looking down at her. His burdens are heavy and he doesn't want to place them on her shoulders. It's been a long time since anyone shared them and the feeling is completely foreign to him after all these years but he supposes it really isn't about what he _wants_ anymore. What they both _need_ is what matters now.

Reaching down he brushes the hair from her face before leaving the room to let her sleep.

* * *

It is only a short time later she rolls over, missing the warmth of his body, and reaches out to find the bed is empty. The double doors leading to the living area are closed and she relaxes knowing he is still close by, but didn't want to disturb her.

Getting out of bed she realizes she slept in her dress from the day before and is a rumpled mess but that will have to wait. Stepping from the bedroom she sees him standing at the window apparently lost in thought, not hearing her approach.

Circling her arms around from behind, he is startled for a moment before reaching up and pulling her arms tighter around him. He must have been miles away and the ache in her chest is back, hurting for those old wounds that were torn open so that he could tell her.

She places a kiss through the robe to the scars beneath and whispers, "Are you alright?"

Before he answers, she moves to stand in front of him wanting to see his face. There is no flush to his cheeks and she can already tell the fever has stayed away. He is pale in the morning light and she wonders if that is due to illness or his story.

Reaching up he brushes a thumb along her brow wanting to take away the worry he sees there. "I'm alright, Lizzy, or I will be in a day or two. I think the worst is over."

His voice is low and somewhat gravelly but sounds better than the previous day.

"And are you alright?" she asks again.

He smiles at the directness of her question and the meaning is not lost on him. "Yes."

A simple answer but she sees the truth of it in his features.

_The worst is over._

And they believe it. It will get easier with time, easier for him to talk to her and perhaps share with her other memories not related to the fire.

The concern eases from her features, but here in the light he can see the traces of her tears. Reaching out he cups her face with his hands and kisses her forehead, his emotions a little too close to the surface just then to speak.

"I suppose that will have to do until you're better," she teases, and his smile returns as he relaxes. She has no plans to push him now that they have moved past the barrier that separated them. The rest will come.

"Just you wait."

And the way he says it brings the color to her cheeks as he hugs her close.

* * *

It is a quiet Sunday and they say no more about the past. Not today when the wounds are so raw.

She orders another large breakfast and leaves to shower and change. When she returns it is his turn to greet her with juice and she smiles at this image they form. This homey interlude in his suite a little removed from reality.

In truth, neither are willing to let it end just yet, this respite from the world. Even with his illness and the turmoil of the last days, it renews.

They spend the day much as the previous. She reads aloud for a time then turns the radio on. He naps when the fatigue returns and she watches the snow falling onto the trees in the park.

When he wakes, he makes his way to her side and seeing the new snowfall, says quietly, "I'm always amazed at the serenity. How something so transient can come and wipe away all the flaws."

"It's beautiful even though it's not really perfect."

"Perhaps not, or at least not forever, but that brief moment when it seems it could be is what sustains."

Maybe that's why he has chosen this suite high above the trees or travels to foreign lands to gaze at new vistas. Searching for that small, perfect space in time. She thinks it's not really even the perfection he seeks, but some measure of peace.

This is why they found each other, she is certain now. Two wanderers still seeking beauty in a world in which they endured such ugliness.

He doesn't ask when it will end, knowing it must for the time being. He waits for her to call Edward to drive her home, but as the afternoon light fades to evening, she remains. There is her work that resumes tomorrow and he is sure to be fully recovered in a few days time but still she stays.

After dinner she joins him on the sofa sitting close and resting her head on his chest.

"As enjoyable as this is I don't want you to get sick," he whispers against her hair.

"I'm not moving so shush."

Beyond a little snicker he says nothing and they relax into each other, listening to a few radio programs and by late evening he is certain she will not be returning home. Why it should be so hard to ask he cannot say, only knowing he doesn't want to upset the tranquility of this day and think about the separation to come.

He lets her be the guide and finally she rises telling him he needs rest and leaves to change. When she emerges from the bath he is already in bed and not quite sure what her intentions are, to be quite honest. However, she acts as if they have gone through this nighttime ritual a thousand times and slips into bed.

That intriguing nightgown is back but remains covered up by his pajama top and he curses the cold outside as well as the one inside his body.

Turning to face him, she sees the familiar expression and laughingly says, "Disappointed again, I see. You need to concentrate on getting better."

"Lizzy, I'm highly motivated, I assure you."

She feels that familiar flutter when he looks at her that way and with the tone of his voice dropping low. Here they are again feeling that rush of emotion making it very difficult to keep one's bearings.

Reaching out she finds his hand meeting hers half way between them. She's not really sure what to say and simply concentrates on his thumb ghosting across her skin for a time.

"I'm going home tomorrow."

"I know."

The resignation is there in his eyes and she understands. It seems so natural now that she is here, as if she could stay but again the timing is not right. Not yet.

"You're going to have the doctor stop by once more and drink juice instead of scotch for a few days."

"I will."

There won't be much time in the morning, just a quick goodbye before Edward drives her home so she can prepare for her workday. No time for all the words they want to say as they wait for the right moment.

"You're going to call me and let me know you're alright."

"Lizzy?"

"What?"

"Come here."

With a sigh she scoots to his side and he wraps an arm around her bringing her close.

"This isn't goodbye, you know. I'll be fine and we'll see each other in a few days."

She nods in response as the tears prick her eyes and they wonder why it feels like one. Why the only thing that makes sense anymore is this refuge they've found together and the emotion between them they have yet to declare.

They already know the answer.


	9. Linger Awhile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had other plans for this chapter but Red and Lizzy had their own ideas apparently. Thanks for reading and enjoy!

_The time is coming soon to say goodbye_  
_A time of sadness it will be_  
_But honey listen to my parting sigh  
_ _And linger on awhile with me_

* * *

"Raymond, sit down and stop pacing. There's nothing to be done about it."

At which he dramatically and with a rather loud sigh drops onto the sofa next to her and looks toward the ceiling in complete exasperation.

She can't really blame him. Between his illness lasting most of the week after her return home, followed by day after day of snow, he has been a prisoner in the hotel suite for almost two weeks. And currently at his wits' end.

Apart from a few visits she was able to make after work this is the first time they've had together. That it is at her apartment with Meera tucked away in her room to give them privacy is not exactly ideal. They had planned an evening out to lift their spirits after the harshness of the winter storm but the darkening clouds prevented them leaving at all.

It seems more snow is expected and judging by the severity of reports from further west they dare not go out and risk getting stranded. A few flurries are already falling causing him to frequently check the street below for a sign it's time to leave.

"I'm disappointed, Raymond."

"I am, too," he says, still staring at he ceiling.

"Well, I'm actually disappointed in you."

She finally has his attention now as he looks over at her.

"We have music on the radio and I've been waiting for you to ask me to dance, but you're turning me into a wallflower here."

He smiles at her teasing and also realizes he's a damn fool for forgetting that everything he needs is there beside him. Already he feels the restlessness leaving him.

"Lizzy, forgive me. I go a little stir crazy sometimes during these long winters."

He stands and straightens his tie and vest not bothering with his jacket that has been discarded on the chair. Coming to stand before her, he extends a hand to her and asks with all the gallantry he can muster in this tiny, drafty sitting room, "Will you do me the honor?"

"I'd be delighted."

Taking his hand and feeling that familiar thrill, she lets him lead her to the dance floor or more accurately the only available few feet in the center of the room. He gathers her close and they dance to the faint sounds of jazz coming from the radio and instantly the thoughts of a crowded nightclub are forgotten.

"Now this is more like it," she murmurs and feels rather than hears his soft laugh.

They lose all track of time and don't give a thought to the storm outside as the chilly little apartment begins to feel warm and cozy.

"This is my new favorite jazz club. Lets make this our regular place, shall we?"

She pulls back, bringing her arms up around his neck and gives him a questioning look.

"With the three foot dance floor and radio?"

"Lizzy, I beg to differ! Now I'm going to need you to close your eyes," and when he sees her arched brow says softly, "Please."

She does as he asks, closing her eyes, and lets him guide their steps around every square inch of those few feet and hears him whisper close to her ear, "We have all the space we need. Actually we have too much space."

As her breath quickens she keeps her eyes closed, shutting out the world and concentrates only on him. The feel of his hand at the small of her back. The softness of his hair under her fingers.

He slows the dance to the smallest of space around them. His breath is warm on her neck and she tilts her head just the slightest when his lips kiss that spot below her ear.

"And as for a radio, I have to disagree. Don't you recognize Duke Ellington? I'm surprised at you, Lizzy. He's playing just for us and you say it's only a radio."

She smiles at the mock indignation in his voice and says most sincerely, "You're right, of course, how could I have been so wrong."

Her eyes are still closed as she plays along with the game and has been concentrating on his kisses slowly moving down her neck to her shoulder. When they stop her eyes flutter open to see him looking at her with a curious expression.

"Lizzy, I…"

"Raymond?"

The question asked after he doesn't continue and it hangs between them only a moment before he smiles and answers it with a kiss instead. One that takes the breath from her body and makes her link her arms behind him to simply hang on.

"Hey, bank's closed, you two!"

They are both startled back to reality and turn to see Meera in the doorway wearing the same knowing expression that never leaves these days.

"Meera, can you not scare us to death! What's wrong?" Lizzy exclaims out of breath and trying to compose herself.

"Sorry to break up this little party, but the snow is really coming down now, Raymond. You don't want to get snowed in….or maybe you do," she laughs giving him a wave which he returns and leaves them to their goodbyes.

He goes to look out the window and the storm has indeed arrived and before there is too much accumulation it is time to call for his car.

Lizzy comes to stand beside him and slides her arm along his side. "We'll have to finish our dance next time."

"That's a promise."

He's still staring at the falling snow and thinking of the days they won't see each other because of the weather. "When spring finally arrives let's take a trip out of the city. I know of a wonderful little lake house I have access to."

He has said it in an offhand way, almost without thinking. Simply envisioning warmer days ahead and the two of them together but glancing towards her adds, "That is…..I meant…."

Of course she's enjoying this very much. It's not too often she sees him a little rattled but she decides to take pity on him, "A trip together is an intriguing idea. One that we need to discuss in more detail."

"Yes we do, Lizzy."

"Raymond, go call Edward. I want to know you're safely back at the hotel before the weather gets too bad," she says softly. They are running out of time and also arriving at a crossroads, one they will meet another night.

She didn't miss how his voice dropped lower when he said her name or the searching look in his eyes. Didn't miss the small nod of understanding as he smiled before going to do as she asked.

He returns and wraps his arms around her. Earlier he had very nearly said the words he never thought he would speak again in this lifetime. They are with him always now, like a lifeline that guides him back to her, that directs his path. They've made him stay longer in one place than he has in many years and he feels the roots take hold with every passing day. But they are not something to be said lightly or when he is minutes from leaving and so he tucks them away again.

They say no more about all the things there are to say and simply watch the snowfall until Edward pulls the car to the curb on the street below.


	10. Do What You Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so appreciative of the support for this story. Thanks for reading!

_Come on and do what you do_  
_It seems so new what you do_  
_It thrills me through what you do  
_ _So do what you do some more_

* * *

"Well, it's not the sitting room jazz club but are you enjoying being out on the town?"

"Lizzy, nothing can compare to our club but this will certainly do for second place," he replies, leaning both arms on the back of the booth as he surveys the crowded room with a smile.

She enjoys seeing him this relaxed and jovial. All the previous week the snow continued to fall until there seemed no end to it when finally Thursday dawned bright and clear. She hoped it would last, allowing them and most importantly him a chance to escape the confines of home. Between his illness and the weather it has been a difficult few weeks but tonight has made it worth the wait.

This particular club is owned by his good friend Dembe who Raymond supplies with high quality booze in return for a reserved booth to enjoy some of the best jazz acts currently playing the city.

The mood is nothing short of jubilant. It is evident that, as with them, this is the first opportunity the other revelers have had to enjoy a night out. No soft strains of jazz tonight as every song is loud and played with gusto. The piano player is positively hammering the keys and the horn player has barely come up for air. They danced until the crowd became a little overwhelming, finally retiring to their table to relax for awhile.

"I don't know how Dembe keeps from getting raided every night. They can probably hear this place at police headquarters."

She has to speak up over the music and immediately Red laughs with a shake of his head. "They're too busy hiding in the bushes outside the bigger speakeasies. I think we'll be safe enough."

"Okay, I'll drink to that."

They clink glasses and he plants a lingering kiss on her lips _for luck, of course_. She slides over until she is right next to him and he immediately brings his arm down to her shoulder.

"This is nice," he says next to her ear and it is nice.

Especially the way her hand is resting on his thigh, tapping along with the music. He lightly brushes his fingers up and down her bare arm and occasionally his fingers play a few notes in time with the piano. They've hardly gone a few minutes without touching one another since he arrived to pick her up and there is only one reason for it.

"I've missed you."

She says it after they haven't spoken for several minutes, simply enjoying the scene as they like to do.

He drops his arm from her shoulder to her waist, hugging her closer, letting her know he missed her as well. She thinks about that crossroads they've been headed toward and knows it has arrived. Has known it for days now.

Days that kept them separated until the storm broke and he arrived at her door first thing to see her because to wait any longer simply would not do. She teased him about his impatience but she feels the pull just as strongly. It's the reason she hugged him and held on longer, not wanting to let him go. It's the reason he did the same but when she pulled back he caught a glimpse of something in her features. A fleeting something that reminded him of the night he first saw her and a look he has rarely seen since.

He had brushed a hand along her cheek asking if she were alright but with a nod she was herself again and he wondered if he had imagined it.

In truth she has found herself a little distracted, a little out of sorts these last few days.

There are times she is certain she has left her previous life behind, that what she experienced in her marriage no longer has power over her, and then she is reminded that it is still there. On the fringes of her mind where she pushed the memories in order to forge ahead.

She wonders why they found her again this week. Perhaps it's simply the knowledge she and Raymond are not going to be careful much longer as they make a turn at that crossroad. With the uncertainty of what lies ahead, she could feel the fear creeping in. The type of fear she told herself she would never allow herself to experience again, but she never counted on Raymond Reddington sitting across from her and turning her world upside down.

The voices of doubt in her head aren't even in her own voice making it seem like a betrayal all over again. When they come they are always in his voice. The one that came before and whose damage she is still repairing.

_You'll never be free of me._

His last words to her and their echo still lingers.

She doesn't really believe them, no longer believes anything he ever said to her, but she was so certain there would never be another. Never thought she would be capable of caring for anyone again let alone this profound love she has for Raymond.

"Are you alright? You seem very far away."

He brings her back from her scattered thoughts and she nods but doesn't turn to look at him, needing a few moments. She wasn't even aware her mind had wandered away from the happy scene before her.

The second time he has asked her this same question in as many days.

He can't see her face where she sits close to his side but noticed the tension that entered her body. The tapping of her fingers ceasing as her hand clenched into a fist. It slowly relaxes and he bends down to her ear once more to whisper, "Please tell me what it is."

Turning so she can see him, she reaches across to find his other hand linking their fingers together. Watches as his thumb strokes back and forth the way it does when he touches her as if he is always making sure she is real. Or perhaps letting her know he is there.

Looking back to the concern in his features, she senses the power of the emotion between them. It steadies her and she has the sensation of moving forward again away from what she left behind.

"I'm still saying goodbye to bad memories. That's all it is, I promise."

As she relaxes, he does the same. He knows all about bad memories. How they come without warning throwing everything out of balance. How you have to fight to recall the good ones or make new ones as they are doing this night.

He brings her hand to his lips before she scoots back to where she was sitting close to his side.

* * *

"…..I thought I was done for until a voice over my shoulder said 'why don't you gentlemen settle your dispute with a card game instead of a standoff' and two hours later we were all completely zozzled on my Kentucky moonshine and the best of pals. Dembe and I beat it out of Marseilles the next day and have been friends ever since."

Raymond raises his glass prompting Dembe to do the same and continues, "So now we toast to the night we escaped the most ruthless band of thieves in that city along with several cases of the '21 Château d'Yquem and I believe it was fourteen boxes of El Producto cigars. All in all we did quite well, wouldn't you say?"

"I would indeed, Raymond, but the friendship is what is of lasting value," Dembe answers with what can only be described as a tolerant smile for his friend.

"Something else I'll drink to," and turning to Lizzy he adds, "Don't let the bar owner moniker fool you. He is a poet and philosopher of the highest order. If you get him talking about Goethe, we'll be here all night."

"Don't pay him any mind, Elizabeth, he simply likes to argue until the sun comes up. However, since this is a special evening, shall we indulge then?"

Not waiting for a response Dembe calls a waiter over to the table and gives him a few whispered instructions.

Lizzy laughs at the pair of them and is content to listen to the banter. Other than Mr. Kaplan this is the first true friend of Raymond's that she has met. Even with his transient life she is not surprised that he has forged these lasting friendships.

The waiter returns with a box of cigars for the gentlemen to make a selection and seeing the emblem she is certain they saved a few boxes from that night in Marseilles. Raymond offers her first choice which she declines with a roll of her eyes and he selects one for himself before passing the box to Dembe.

Noticing her expression, Raymond leans toward her to murmur, "Now Lizzy, I'm fully recovered so don't look at me like that. Besides, it's tradition."

She smiles and with a shake of her head says nothing, looking toward the band. However her attention is soon drawn back as he rolls the cigar between his fingers before bringing it to his nose to smell the tobacco as if it were an old friend. He reaches across the table to take the cutter Dembe offers to snip the end after which he passes it back and accepts a small silver match case. Lizzy wonders how many times they've gone through this ritual over the years as their movements are timed perfectly. She watches as he lets it burn for a moment in the flame before bringing it to his lips to take the first puff.

_My goodness._

Raymond relaxes back, tipping his head up to blow the smoke toward the ceiling and turning to find that Lizzy has indeed been watching his every move, gives her a wink.

Before she does more than close her mouth that seems to have dropped open as she watched him, he holds it out to her. There is humor in his eyes and oh how he enjoys teasing her. Well, she still has one or two tricks up her sleeve.

Taking the cigar, she inhales deeply and blows out a perfect ring of smoke, thankful she still remembers how since she doesn't make smoking a habit. It's beautiful though and she watches as it vanishes into the smoky haze of the room before turning to hand the cigar back to Raymond. His expression is priceless and very similar to what hers must have been only a minute before.

"Thanks, but I'll stick with champagne," and she takes a sip, silently toasting her victory.

There is a soft chuckle but it's not from Raymond this time but Dembe. She glances his way to see his admiration and he gives her a little salute with his own cigar.

She is enjoying all this rather a lot but says nothing as she watches the band. Noticing a group gathering in the middle of the dance floor, she asks, "Dembe, what's that all about?"

"Oh, there is a new dance everyone is talking about. I'm sure that is it."

As the music starts, Lizzy recognizes it and scoots toward Raymond urging him to stand up so she can slip out of the booth.

"Wait, I know this, I'll be right back."

Raymond watches as she disappears into the crowd circling the dancers and glancing over he finds Dembe studying him quite seriously.

"All these years you have never said what you are running from my friend but I see those days have come to an end. Your happiness is my happiness."

Raymond raises his glass once more in unison with his friend and offers a nod of understanding and gratitude.

The men soon rise and follow Lizzy's lead.

* * *

Lizzy falls into perfect step with the other dancers as if they had practiced all night. Only four or five flappers to start until a few others join in. He doesn't think she has ever looked as happy or as….free until that moment. He is absolutely mesmerized.

More and more people are joining in and she teaches the steps to those near her who are eager to learn and soon they are all kicking up their heels.

Glancing over, she spots Raymond to the right of the band. His expression hasn't changed at all and is even more amazed as he watches her dance a perfect Charleston. She gives him a radiant smile which he returns and mouths to her _you're wonderful._

Suddenly she begins winding through the crowded floor, making her way toward him, never taking her eyes from his.

She doesn't stop when she reaches him but throws her arms around his neck and kisses him not caring who is near. He simply hangs on trying to keep their balance and hopes the damn cigar doesn't touch anyone. Soon he is lost as all rational thought leaves him. Surely they are alone in the world with her kissing him like that.

She pulls back to look in his eyes that are full of desire and…

"Thank you."

Well, he really thinks he should be the one saying _thank you_ for that kiss in all honesty.

"For what? So I'll know to keep doing it."

She has no idea where to begin to answer. For making her laugh again and giving her these memories that are filling all the spaces the bad ones have left behind. The answer is simple really.

"For loving me."

"Lizzy…"

Her name comes out in a breath and he simply can't find the words he has wanted to say, meant to say, came very close to saying the night of the storm only stopping because he had to leave her. Now here they are in a packed jazz club surrounded by the roar of the crowd and the band.

None of that matters at all.

"Come here," and abruptly he takes her hand leading her back to stand near their table. It is only slightly less noisy here at the edge of the room, but it will have to do.

She sees how serious he has become and waits for his response.

"Can you hear me?" and at her nod continues, "Good. I do love you, very much."

All her life she'll remember how his voice dropped low and his gaze never wavered. How he squeezed her hand while still holding the cigar with the other not bothering to put it down, wanting nothing to delay her hearing his affirmation.

"I suppose I should have told you I loved you first before telling you that you loved me and maybe I should have waited until we were alone but…..I love you as well, Raymond."

It comes out in a rush and he's laughing as he adds, "I especially love the way you ramble on when you're nervous."

"I do not ramble. You're the one that has a story for every little-"

He silences her with a kiss and whispers against her lips, "See, rambling."

"Shut up and kiss me again."

He does just that as he slips his free hand behind her neck, running his fingers through her hair and bringing his lips to meet hers. Softly this time. Tenderly. Deeply. Like a promise reaffirming the love they just expressed that courses into every crevice, every broken place until it is everywhere. Beyond measure and without end.

They are out of breath when they break apart, but also smiling as they hold hands and watch the crowd for a few minutes, neither needing to speak just then.

As he brings the cigar back to his mouth he sees Dembe motioning for the band to stop playing and already knows what his friend is going to say by his grim expression.

_Don't tell me…._

"Ladies and gentlemen, I've just received a tip-off. This establishment will shortly be raided by the police. You know what to do."

_Oh for god's sake._


	11. I Want To Be Loved By You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

_I want to be loved by you_  
_Just you and nobody else but you_  
_I want to be loved by you  
_ _Alone_

_poo poo pi doo_

* * *

... _this establishment will shortly be raided by the police. You know what to do."_

Lizzy honestly has no idea what to do, but it seems the other partygoers were aware of a plan.

After a collective groan that ripples through the crowd with the knowledge that the evening is over, everyone scatters leaving the dance floor empty in seconds.

Turning to Raymond to ask what they should do, she is stopped short and laughs out loud at his expression. He still has the cigar in his mouth but it is now hanging down adding to his air of surprised dejection.

"Raymond, I think we better beat it before we end up in the klink."

She is grinning from ear to ear and just as he's about to remind her that getting arrested in a police raid really isn't all it's cracked up to be, there is the faint sound of a siren.

Dembe calls out, "Quickly!" and nothing more needs to be said.

It seems what everyone _knows_ to do is return to their tables and dispense with whatever liquor is remaining. With a _cheers,_ the glasses are quickly emptied before the throng moves toward two doors at the rear of the room.

She is surprised how festive the room remains. Absent the music there is hardly a clue anything is amiss with the laughter and chatter going on as before.

Raymond grabs her arm to propel her toward the exit but she halts his progress and reaches for her glass of champagne instead.

"For luck."

"Lizzy, this is hardly the time…."

But seeing her expression he knows an argument is futile. Lifting his own glass he toasts her with, "The best of luck," and after finishing their drinks she reaches up to kiss his cheek.

"If I forget to tell you later….this was fun. Let's do it again."

Looking at her with the laughter in her eyes mixed with what he now knows she feels for him, he can't help but be mesmerized. Can't help but be grateful with or without an imminent police raid.

"If I forget to tell you later….you are absolutely enchanting and we will most certainly do this again," he says returning her smile, "but I'd rather end the evening at home with you rather than a cold cell. Let's go."

It is as choreographed as a stage play and everyone seems to know their part. The waiters are guiding the patrons through the rear exits while others dispose of whatever liquor remains. She feels strangely calm considering the imminent arrival of the cops but a sudden thought has her drawing in a quick breath.

"Dembe?"

"He'll be okay, there are safeguards in place. By the time the police make it inside, this club will be as dry as the desert. Although, Glen will have hell to pay I guarantee it."

She breathes a sigh of relief for his friend and also that they have reached the exit. After passing through a short passageway they are soon in the alley at the back of the building. There is an employee there as well dividing the crowd to the left and right to draw as little attention as possible as they spill out onto the block at either end.

The air is like ice hitting them but there was no time to get their coats and wraps from the front of the club. After being directed to the left, they begin walking down the dark alley headed for the light at the end.

Crossing her arms in front, she rubs them to keep warm and asks, "Who is Glen?"

"My contact at police headquarters. He runs the records room and knows when all the raids are scheduled. He assured me none would be occurring tonight in this part of town and no doubt his excuses will be as outlandish as they are untrue."

Raymond is more agitated and distracted in the alley as he listens for any additional sirens and watches as they draw nearer to the street, looking for signs of the police.

"Oh but don't be too hard on him, after all it's been a lovely night."

Her words stop him and he finally looks her way and notices immediately she is shivering. Cursing his carelessness, he removes his jacket and holds it for her to slip into, murmuring, "Forgive me Lizzy. I'll have Edward pick up our coats tomorrow."

He rubs her arms as well trying to warm her up and notices her smile.

"I have a feeling all this time, you've been secretly hoping we'd get raided."

She laughs at the truth of his statement and wraps an arm around him as they continue onward.

Steps from the street he looks over and says, "Alright let's run for it."

Taking her hand once more, they emerge from the alley and turn away from the club, never slowing their steps as the other partygoers disperse just as quickly. She holds tightly to Raymond's hand and lets him lead the way as they navigate the patches of snow and ice.

After several blocks he has visibly relaxed and stops for a moment to check on her and sees her expression now that the excitement has passed.

"What on earth is the matter?"

"Well, I always imagined a police raid to be a little more exciting. Of course, I'm glad everyone got out but I at least expected to see an officer charge in and fire a few rounds at the ceiling."

She doesn't miss the eye roll as he replies, " _Fire a few rounds at the ceiling_? Lizzy, you've been reading too—"

"...many detective stories. I know, I know."

He chuckles and they continue at a slower pace. A block or two further she gives him a nudge in the side.

"Raymond, you know what impresses me the most about this raid? The fact you managed to hang onto that cigar throughout all of this."

He glances down at the cigar as if only now being conscious of its presence.

"You don't throw away a good cigar for a little thing like that."

To which he brings it to his lips and blows the smoke out to mingle with their breath in the cold night air.

"I'll keep that in mind," she says, making him laugh.

After several blocks she recognizes her neighborhood and a sigh escapes, realizing they are almost home. Finally they turn onto her block and she has never been happier and never been as cold or her feet so tired.

Edward is waiting in front of her apartment building and immediately gets out of the car, very relieved after not being able to find them. Raymond assures him they're fine and they continue into her building to warm up.

Her apartment feels toasty warm after the bitterly cold night but she adjusts the radiator before collapsing on the sofa and stretching out.

"My god, what a night," he says coming to lift her legs so he can sit in their place. Slipping off her ruined shoes he rubs her cold feet for several minutes.

_What a night indeed,_ she thinks looking at this man she loves and who loves her back. Whose touch is sending little tingles up her legs that have nothing to do with the cold.

"You might want to remove these wet stockings or you'll never warm up. I suppose I should go since I have Edward waiting downstairs."

She has continued watching him through half-closed eyes and makes no immediate response other than a faint smile. Even after everything that has passed between them tonight he is still a gentleman and would never presume. She reaches a decision that she supposes has been made for days if not weeks and in truth shortly after they saw each other New Year's Eve. It has always been a matter of time. Perhaps that is the reason she was so unsettled this week. It is hard to cross over when they have held back for so long.

"Raymond."

"Yes?"

He is not looking at her as he continues to rub her feet, but her next statement stills his hands.

"Meera is at her sister's this weekend. I want you to stay."

* * *

Lizzy removes her stockings and gives her toes a wiggle. They feel quite warm from that foot rub and she sits for a moment lost in thought before finally getting up. She removes her dress leaving only her chemise but feeling too exposed she puts on her robe and returns to the bed to sit once again.

She had not given him time to respond. Simply stood, slipping off his dinner jacket and telling him it was his choice. She had walked from the room and a minute later heard the soft click of the door as he let himself out.

Her bedroom does not face the street and she would not go to the window on any count. Much of the city has gone to sleep and the night is still and quiet. So quiet she imagines she can hear the beat of her heart in her ears and the blood coursing through her vessels.

Her nerves surprise her, that a woman once married should feel these particular nerves. Since her only frame of reference is one terrible marriage this emotion is quite unexpected. There are times Raymond makes her feel like her marriage never happened but knowing it did and knowing the way he cares for her makes these nerves of….anticipation something of a gift.

When he reaches the doorway to her room, it is evident she has not heard him re-enter the apartment. She seems lost in thought gazing at her hands folded in her lap and he is hesitant to disturb her, not wanting to intrude.

She glances up to find him leaning against the doorframe and wonders how long he has watched her. He shifts his weight under her steady gaze and she realizes he is nervous as well. He also hasn't crossed the threshold into her bedroom and she smiles even as she is touched by his respect for her at all times.

Seeing her rise and move toward him, he waits for her to meet him in the doorway. She reaches out, running her hands up his arms that are chilly from the night air and says softly, "I'm glad you came back."

"I'm glad you asked," as his hands go to her waist but no further.

"Lizzy?"

As her hands slide around his neck and she kisses him along his jaw, it takes everything in his willpower to concentrate on what he must ask. To not lose himself in the feel of her.

"Lizzy, wait a moment."

She pulls back and there is concern in his features as well as….something she doesn't recognize.

"What's wrong?"

"I need to ask….I don't want you to be hurt...that is to say…."

Ah, now she understands and she pulls back further to lean against the door.

"Raymond, are you worried that I'll end up _in_ _trouble,_ to put it delicately?"

"Yes, I suppose I am," he says with some relief, amazed to find it this difficult.

They've never talked about the future to that extent and suddenly the old fear returns. The old shame from the failure, as her husband had put it, month after month and no baby. At first she wanted it so desperately, believing it could put everything right, but later it was a blessing even as he tormented her with it.

"There is no need to worry. I'm not able to…."

The words catch as her throat closes in. My god, she has never thought about it until this moment. Everything between them up till now has been about the present but right here the future is in front of them.

Her back is pressing painfully into the doorframe and it is all she can do to stay there facing him. How foolish to have locked this away and not considered the impact. What if...

"I understand if that is something you may want but I can't give you-"

He stops her words, crossing the distance to her. Only a foot or two but it felt like a chasm was forming between them with the pain entering her features, the tears forming before she dropped her gaze to the ground. He would not have hurt her for the world but here is proof he has yet to discover all her wounds.

Taking her upper arms he waits until her eyes meet his once more. Searching, pleading for her to believe him from the place where she retreats that seems just out of reach.

"All I want is you."

Sliding his hands up to cradle the face of the woman who is now his life, he murmurs again, "All I want is you."

Softly he brings his lips to hers, just a whisper of a kiss until she responds and he feels her coming back to him. Until the old memories fade away and the certainty of his emotion steadies her once more. Until she takes his hand and leads the way.

And there is no more hesitation, no more fear, nothing else in the entire world but this fierce love. Even more powerful than what they knew to this point, it is waiting there as the longing gives way to a passion stronger than they had imagined.

To what distance they would have to travel before the past let them be they had never known. Whether it would be measured in time or space or perhaps both. Finally here is the answer, in the closing of the distance between them on the other side of the threshold. In their whispered affirmations and every caress as sacred as a vow.

* * *

"Lizzy."

He mumbles it into her hair bringing her back from the edge of sleep. He was almost asleep himself until the memory stirred and he simply must know.

"Hmmm."

"Where did you learn to do that amazing Charleston?"

"Meera and I went out a few weeks ago."

She tries to keep the laughter out of her voice and can only imagine his face. Not jealous, only wishing he hadn't missed the fun.

"You were in Boston catching a cold, I'm afraid."

"Remind me never to go to Boston."

She laughs softly and closes her eyes to sleep but he rouses her once again.

"And where did you learn the trick with the cigar smoke?"

Turning to glance at him over her shoulder she repeats his words from the night they met, "You can't find out all my secrets in one evening. What's the fun in that?"


	12. Huggable Kissable You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not quite ready to say goodbye to Raymond and Lizzy in this one so thanks for reading. I really appreciate it and hope you enjoy these last few chapters.

_You're hauntable, so wantable_  
_And that's why I want you like I do..._  
_If it's permissible, it will be blissable  
_ _To live just for huggable, kissable you_

* * *

It is the chill of the early morning that wakes him and instinctively he reaches out to draw Lizzy closer to him. Pulling the blanket over them more securely, they curl into one another's warmth. He is just on the edges of sleep once more but the sensation of waking with her next to him is too delightful not to contemplate.

In all the years since his home and family were lost to him, he has never awoken to this sense of peace. He has chased it through the years and across the globe but never came close to it. He knows that now. Here it is, in this tiny room, in this drafty apartment, and he'd rather be here than in all the finest hotels and estates in which he has laid his head.

Sleep seems so close and he doesn't want to disturb her but finds that he can't help kissing her lightly at the nape of her neck. There is a trace of her perfume just below her ear and he can't help kissing that spot as well. The barely audible sigh that escapes her lips and makes him smile should satisfy but he knows he will never have enough of her.

He is moving further and further away from sleeping with the softness of her back pressed to his chest. What can he do but run his hand down her side to rest on her hip and just then her foot reaches back to run gently up his leg.

At his throaty chuckle she whispers, "Is this how you plan to wake me every morning?"

_Every morning._

She hears the meaning in the words as she says it and likes the sound of it. He does too apparently and replies close to her ear, "Now isn't that an interesting idea."

But first things first as she stretches with a bit more exaggeration than is really necessary causing the hand at her hip to increase its pressure. She feels thoroughly relaxed but her body is coming alive with every caress of his hand and every kiss along her shoulder.

Turning to face him, she is finally able to see his expression. She has no experience waking to the certainty that she is loved, that the desire for her remains, but she recognizes it instantly in his eyes. Raymond, who surprises her still with how different her life is with him compared to the one before.

"You're sweet, you know that?"

"And you're beautiful," he says with a smile at her unexpected words. "Come here."

He captures her lips with a kiss that lingers, taking his time, wanting this moment to last. She brings her hand to his cheek and then slowly traces it around to the nape of his neck, taking her time as well.

When he lays her back and deepens the kiss, she runs her hands down his scarred back to the smooth skin below that she has discovered he very much likes. There's a groan deep in his throat as her fingers ghost over the sensitive skin and she loves this power they have over one another.

His hands have begun their own exploration and she breaks the kiss with a gasp, "And good morning to you or should I say good heavens?"

"Mmmm, I believe both are appropriate for the moment, Lizzy," as he brings his lips to the base of her neck.

Their movements are as slow and lazy as the city coming awake just beyond the window and they love each other with a growing familiarity, like there is all the time in the world.

* * *

"Raymond, we don't have time for this," is her exasperated response as he snakes an arm around her, preventing her from rising.

It was full midday when they woke for the second time and she has been attempting to hurry him along ever since.

"Lizzy, is it asking too much to spend a Sunday canoodling together?"

"Canoodling?"

"Yes, _canoodling_ ," he responds sounding slightly affronted. "To canoodle. It means to-"

"I have a general idea what is means," she interrupts with a laugh, leaning down for a quick kiss before pushing him out of his side of the bed.

"Now make yourself useful and go bang on the radiator because I think it died,"

She shakes her head with a smile watching him shuffle out of the room, using the blanket as a makeshift robe, and is certain she hears him muttering as he goes. Finding her own robe and following the sounds of clanging coming from the sitting room, she stops short a few feet behind.

"Raymond?"

"Hmmm," as he holds the hammer, looking for a likely spot to swing it.

The uncertainty arrived without warning and not wanting to let it build she continues, "I want you to stay, but Meera is due back soon and for now I want this to remain between us."

Glancing at her over his shoulder and hearing the seriousness that has entered her voice he gives up on the temperamental radiator and comes to join her.

"Lizzy, are you concerned that I'll be offended you're making me scram before Meera returns? I assure you I'm not fool enough to let her catch me here in this condition," he says, bringing his hands that have hold of the blanket out wide revealing what he so obviously doesn't have on underneath.

She can only laugh and nod as she realizes the worry was for nothing as are her defenses that no longer need to remain so strong.

"Now look who is being sweet," he murmurs, seeing the faint blush on her cheeks and steps close to wrap them both in the blanket. "I understand completely so how about I call Edward, who has probably picked up our coats from the club by now, and we'll find a quiet place for an early dinner. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect."

But the room is still chilly and it feels so nice with the blanket holding them close.

"So we should perhaps get dressed?"

"Absolutely we should," is her reply as she makes no attempt to leave the warmth of him.

Neither wants to break the spell but one or the other must. They always seem to end up here. These perfect moments but with time running out and it's a little bittersweet when he finally kisses her gently and steps back to bang some life into the radiator.

* * *

It is a milder Sunday evening that finds them walking back to Lizzy's apartment. Cold but warming enough during the day that much of the snow has melted from the previous week. Wanting to prolong their time together after dinner, Lizzy finally leaned forward asking Edward to pull the car to the curb.

Looking over to Raymond she asks, "Would you like to walk me home?"

"It would be my pleasure," and he steps from the car to offer her a hand. They watch the lights of his car merge into traffic as Edward drives on ahead to meet them at their destination.

They hadn't talked about anything of a serious nature over dinner, simply wanted to enjoy this time together before her work week and the inevitable separation. The one they should be used to by now but after the previous evening now seems impossible.

And so they ordered the largest dinner imaginable and laughed over the story Edward told of the raid and how Dembe and his head waiter were playing cards in his spotless and bone dry club by the time the police entered.

"I'd have given anything to see the expressions on their faces. Too bad there wasn't a place to hide—"

"Lizzy, we won't be risking getting arrested in a raid no matter how much you may want that."

"Raymond, you're no fun at all," she says with a smile which makes him laugh.

They lingered over coffee and dessert and then just a while longer until there really was nothing to do but leave.

Now this leisurely stroll home is what remains and perhaps the fading light of the day makes it easier to talk.

"You're wrong, you know," he says after they've walked a block.

She looks over to his profile but can't seem to read his inscrutable expression. "What do you mean?"

"Thinking this will remain between us and Meera won't know and others as well."

She's laughing before he finishes the sentence and also knows the truth in his statement.

"I have a feeling Meera could figure out a mystery better than any G-man out there."

"You'd be correct and yes she will definitely know, probably the minute I walk in," and hearing his chuckle continues, "Oh hush."

"Do you mind?"

He asks it softly and there is no laughter in his voice. Perhaps it is his turn for the worry to surface unexpectedly. She finds it endearing that he has these moments as well as she and wanting to reassure him, she links her arms more securely through his own, needing him to feel the strength of the bond.

"Raymond, I have no regrets, not a single one. Today is about us but the rest we will deal with as it comes."

She leans her head on his shoulder as they walk and his only reply is, "Yes, we will."

As they cross the street to her block she can't help adding, "Besides, Meera will be thrilled I took a lover and make some sort of comment about me being a modern woman."

Smiling, he unlinks their arms to put his around her shoulders and draws her close for these last few steps.

"A lover that loves you, Lizzy. There's a difference."

He is still able to make her feel that flutter as his voice takes on the timbre that seems reserved only for her.

"Yes, there is."

They have arrived at the door to her apartment building and Raymond's car is waiting at the curb. Meera is surely home by now and so he goes no further. There is the slight feeling of déjà vu as they both recall the New Year's Eve they spent together and how he brought her safely home in the early hours of the first day of this year, just as he had promised her. To the entrance but no further.

Can it be only a few short months have passed that have brought them here again but also having traveled so far? It doesn't seem possible as he tips her face up for a kiss that holds all the promise in the world.

"How about lunch tomorrow at our greasy spoon?"

Laughing at his words, she can think of nothing better and misses him just a little less knowing he'll be waiting for her. Knowing they will find their way when the time is right as they always do.

"It's a date," and lightly returning his kiss, she turns to make her way into the building.


	13. Ain't Misbehavin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three more chapters should do it, I think. Thanks for reading and also for the comments. Means so much!

_I know for certain_  
_The one I love_  
_I'm through with flirtin'  
_ _It's just you I'm thinking of_

* * *

It is much like Lizzy envisioned walking back into her apartment to find Meera waiting in the sitting room like a sentry. Forgoing a greeting, she declares with just the hint of triumph, "You have me to thank for that smile."

"I'm sorry?"

Meera has leaned back on the sofa quite satisfied with herself and as Lizzy steps further into the room, she continues, "I knew a well-timed visit to my sister's would do the trick."

Lizzy stops unbuttoning her coat and perches her hands on her hips, staring at her friend open-mouthed while she looks back at her with all the smugness in the world.

"Are you telling me—"

"That's exactly what I'm telling—"

"That you left on purpose thinking we—"

"Knowing, more like."

Meera is all but laughing at this point and Lizzy comes to sit by her with a huff. "Well, I'm glad to know I'm just that predictable."

"Oh stop, I simply gave you a little space, that's all. Besides, it's the 1920s and if you want to take a lover who am I to judge."

She is astonished at how well they can anticipate the other, hearing the exact words she predicted.

"I told him you would say that," she says laughing.

"Ha, I bet he got a kick out of that. What did he say?"

She shakes her head and smiles as Meera leans forward waiting for the story ahead.

"That he's a lover that loves me and there's a difference."

"Oh, that's good," Meera sighs with just the touch of wonder in her voice. "That's really good. Lizzy, he's the real deal, my friend, which I'm sure you know."

"I do know and I also know you're completely outrageous but I suppose a thank you is in order," she says, rising to make her way to her room for the night.

"What, that's it? That's all you're going to tell me?"

"I really have no idea what you're referring to."

With a wink, she leaves the room and calls out a _goodnight_ over her shoulder.

But if Lizzy had seen her friend's expression just then, she'd have noticed the teasing and laughter fade away to a thoughtful smile as she recalls the last few months. The last year, really, trying to get Lizzy out of the apartment following her divorce or the fella she set her up with on New Year's. Well, that really didn't turn out the way she planned but it did lead to the unexpected meeting with Raymond so that still counts. Added to that her hunch this would be a good weekend to visit her sister and there is really only one conclusion to make.

"I did it. I did it all."

Of course, there is no one to hear the whispered words and her reward is the happiness of a dear friend but in this moment the thrill of victory is sweet indeed.

* * *

It wasn't long before Lizzy realized it would be up to her to figure out a plan. She and Raymond had never had much of one up till this point. Simply seeing each other when they wanted and when the responsibilities of her job and his businesses would permit. Except now things were decidedly….different. Wonderful in a complicated way and during the days that followed she was curious how this new _arrangement_ would work exactly.

She became aware of the problem when instead of returning home one evening during that first week she found herself at The Plaza knocking on the door to his suite. He opens it to her smile followed by a sensational kiss and wonders why he hadn't simply met her outside her office as he had wanted. Because he didn't want to overstep while they were still sorting things out but knowing the longing was mutual, very mutual as they make their way through the living room to his bedroom beyond, was everything to him.

"Lizzy, you should drop by more often," he rumbles in her ear, sending a shiver down her back.

"I intend to," she returns, kicking the door closed with her foot.

And that's how it would be, she supposed, since the alternative really wasn't feasible. A little unconventional to be sure but so much of their relationship was.

"Do you mind at all?" he asks later.

Much later or very early to be precise. They are facing each other in the middle of the bed, putting off sleep as long as possible and it doesn't matter right then how tired they may be the following day. He is drawing small circles on her back and she is a little distracted as she runs her fingers through the soft hair on his chest.

"Mind?"

"That you'll come to me instead of the other way round. Not exactly the way these things are normally done."

He is teasing her, but she hears the concern behind his words and she smiles reassuring him that she understands.

"Raymond, I'm not even going to ask how things are normally done since I'm only concerned about us and no, I don't mind. It's a bit of a problem not having a robe, though."

"Mmmmm, I hear a blanket works just as well." As the pressure of his hand increases pulling her forward.

"And if I leave for work from here…."

"Let's never leave."

"I like that idea," she whispers before bringing her lips to meet his.

He has a way of driving all rational thought from her but it doesn't matter. It is enough that the worry is put aside to simply enjoy this time and each other. It isn't long until a suitcase arrives with a few items that find their way here and there around the suite and into the closet next to his line of suits.

It takes him aback the first time he sees them there. It is an image he hasn't seen in a very long time. Not since the home in Arlington. A simple act, really, but there is an intimacy to sharing a space that cannot be denied and he had never allowed that to occur in all this time. Now it seemed the natural progression and being surrounded by her things makes her absence easier to bear knowing she will return. That she belongs in The Plaza suite as well as the drafty little apartment.

* * *

"Lizzy, I imagine Meera wouldn't have a problem rustling up a date if the occasion called for it, would she?"

She looks up from reading her latest detective magazine a little caught off-guard by the question.

"Not at all. Why?"

"It seems the guys in the band are coming back from Chicago next week so I thought I'd open the speakeasy and have a party. If we can manage not to have a repeat police raid, it might just be a pleasant evening."

"So a double date then?"

"Well, I hadn't exactly thought about it in quite those terms but yes, why not."

She was joking at the time but little did she know he would make an event out of the evening. Arriving in an enormous car so that both couples could ride together. They are dropped off at the corner just as usual and walk down the quiet street to the basement entrance where he whispers the code word for Meera to give to Mr. Kaplan.

It has been weeks since the club has been open and upon entering, the party is in full swing. The fellas in the band all acknowledging their host as they make their way to the reserved table. With the champagne flowing and the dance floor packed it feels very much like New Year's.

Lizzy sometimes lets the conversation carry on around her and watches him pay every courtesy to her friend and her date. Asking about their jobs, telling a few outlandish stories and asking Meera to dance with a wink in her direction.

It is another all nighter with dawn about to break before the crowd finally disperses. Coming back to the table with their wraps, she catches Meera and Raymond deep in conversation about what, there is no telling.

"What are you two plotting?"

They hadn't heard her approach and looked a little guilty before he changed the subject and they rise to leave the speakeasy.

_Are you going to tell me what that was about,_ she later asked him but he laughed it off once again. Meera is no help either simply saying she'd had the night of her life and who knew a criminal could be so nice.

Perhaps she had imagined it and it was soon forgotten until a week later when she arrives home from work on Friday to find Raymond and Meera waiting for her with the table set for dinner and a wrapped present displayed prominently on the sideboard.

What a picture they make, all smiles at her surprise, waving her in and Raymond planting a kiss on her cheek as he takes her coat.

"I knew you were up to something. What in the world is the occasion? It's not my birthday—"

"Lizzy, do we need an occasion to have a nice little gathering at home?"

"No, but what about that present?"

"Never you mind about that. Come, let's find some music on the radio and we'll have dinner."

"But—"

Meera gives her a push toward Raymond heading for the radio with a _get going_.

She gets going and it's a lovely dinner, just the three of them, and she has almost forgotten about the present until after dessert is finished. Almost.

"Raymond, are you going to give me that present or what?" she finally exclaims not able to wait a moment longer.

With a chuckle he looks toward Meera and concedes, "I suppose we've waited as long as we can. If you'll clear a spot on the table, I'll bring it over."

It is a beautifully wrapped package about the size of a hat box and she really can't imagine what it contains. He has never given her a real present and truth be told she's not used to receiving them. Especially on a Friday evening of no significance with her birthday still more than a month away. She is quite used to the intangible gifts he gives. The little gestures of kindness he shows, how he makes her laugh. But what would he give her that comes wrapped in a box?

"Lizzy," he whispers close to her ear, "are you going to stare at it or open it?"

She looks up to find them watching her and doesn't know how long she has stood there admiring it. Taking a breath and not attempting to be delicate, she tears the paper away. Removing the lid, she peers in to find some sort of black case.

"Allow me."

He reaches in to lift it out, and Meera sweeps the box away for him to set it back on the table. She really has no idea…

Reaching a hand out to glide over the fine leather to a small latch at the side, she lifts the top to reveal a small typewriter. There is a little gasp as she takes in the shiny black machine and the silver keys.

"But I don't understand," she whispers, looking up at him.

"You once told me you used to be a writer long ago. It's a shame to only edit the thoughts of others and not do the same for your own. I know you have many of these machines at the journal but this would be yours and it's portable so that you can bring it….well, anywhere you like."

Meera stifles a giggle at that and turns to find her a sheet of paper.

She is in a daze as she sits, taking the paper and inserting it, running her hand over the keys and thinks back to that time long ago when she wrote incessantly. Stories about anything and everything and read aloud to her father over dinner. How she had dreamed of those words filling her thoughts and scribbled on empty pages until later when there were none left. When they all disappeared, chased away by the man who stole those dreams.

"Raymond, it's been so long, I wouldn't know where to begin."

He comes to stand behind her putting his hands on her shoulders and running them down her arms before leaning close to her ear. "The words are still there. You just have to find them again."

She reaches up to take his hand and closes her eyes. Doesn't have the words yet to tell him what it means to her. A simple thank you seems too small for a gift of what was once dreamed of. He knew of course. Something in the way she had said it all those weeks ago, some wistful trace of regret and he understood what she had lost. And why, most probably.

He comes to sit at her side and she opens her eyes to see his smile and the understanding in his expression of how moved she is even though she can't quite express it.

Finally finding her voice again, she asks a little shakily, "So do you have any requests?"

"How about a mystery, Lizzy. That sounds exciting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to The Philadelphia Story in that first section. Meera played the role of the little sister who did it all :)


	14. You're The Cream In My Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy.

_You're the sail in my love boat_  
_You're the captain and crew_  
_You will always be my necessity  
_ _I'd be lost without you_

* * *

"The fights?"

"Yes, the fights."

"You want me to take you to a boxing match of all things?"

"Raymond, it's for research. You said you wanted me to write a mystery and I need to get into the spirit of the thing."

"And the spirit is at the fights?"

"Look, I can go on my own-"

"Lizzy, I wouldn't miss it for the world," he relents, throwing up his hands in surrender. "Now these bouts can get quite brutal. Are you sure you can handle…."

At her scowl, he decides to throw in the towel and not many days later she finds herself sitting between Edward and Raymond at a small arena somewhere in the wilds of Jersey City. Edward, it seems, is quite the boxing aficionado and Raymond leaves it to him to answer her questions about the bookies and how the matches are arranged.

He has never been one for this sport, having seen and been involved in too many real life fisticuffs to make it enjoyable. However, in the spirit of being supportive, he was more than happy to tag along. He has the newspaper he brought along to shield them in case of a bloody fight but Edward and Lizzy are oblivious.

In fact, nothing seems to faze her as she yells along with the crowd during a particularly long match. Round after round until finally in the tenth…

"Get him on the ropes, Bulldog! That's it!"

She is a sight and he can only shake his head. The crowd is ecstatic and Raymond is exhausted, he'll admit. But as they file out she puts her arm around him giving him a squeeze.

"Thank you. I know you only came along to make me happy."

"Nonsense, Lizzy, there is nothing better than a sweaty boxing gym in Jersey."

She is smiling but erupts in laughter as Edward gets in a jab, "If that's the case, Boss, there's another match this weekend."

"Lizzy, do you see what you've done now?"

But it is all worth it as she scoots close to lay her head on his shoulder for the ride back to the city.

* * *

He wakes to the rhythmic tapping of the typewriter, faster tonight than he's heard before. At first the time between the striking of the keys had often been lengthy. Very lengthy. On several occasions he had walked out to the living room to find her pacing just behind the machine, sometimes with a look that was anything but happiness at this gift he gave her. Invariably he would decide not to interfere and instead make a hasty retreat feeling that Lizzy and the machine must work out their differences together.

Gradually, those taps picked up speed and also began occurring at odd times during the day and often the night. It was music to his ears though. He marveled at how fast she typed when whatever was in her head transferred easily to paper. The ding at the end of a line coming in rapid succession followed by the zip back to the left to start again. Over and over but he somehow never tired of it.

However, he soon learned that the contents of the mystery he had requested would in fact remain a mystery. No manner of teasing made her give in, but her smile was all the reward he required. He found himself enthralled in the process just as he had been the first day he came to her work and she explained the procedure of putting the journal to print. The way she mumbled aloud entire conversations and would laugh at whatever was being said. Several times he commented on his own excellent sense of humor if she wanted to share but she did not relent.

_All in good time, Raymond._

Always to be met with a chuckle that was soon drowned out as the machine came to life again. A familiar routine and one enjoyed by both. They have many such routines now. Her mock indignation as he comes up behind to kiss her neck as she shields the paper from view. His feigned innocence as he deposits a cup of tea on the table.

He has grown to love the cadence of the key strokes even as they wake him at...2:46 am. Resisting the urge to follow their sound so as not to interrupt her, he remains where he is until gradually they die away. This late night inspiration seems to have found release on the page and soon he hears her quiet entry into the bedroom.

As she slips into bed he whispers _closer_ which is followed by her soft laugh. She scoots over to allow his arms to wrap around, saying softly, "I'm sorry I woke you."

"Shhhh, none of that. However, since I'm awake you could perhaps let me read-"

"I'm not that sorry. You'll get to read it when it's finished. Almost there," she finishes with a yawn.

He waits for her to complete their routine but her steady breathing lets him know she is already fast asleep. She feels so good in his arms that he hovers just beyond sleep for a while to enjoy this moment. Recalling the time before her and what it took to get them to this point he finds he has never believed her words more than at this moment.

"All in good time," he whispers for her, before closing his eyes to sleep at last.

* * *

"Horse racing?"

"Yes, horse racing," is her matter of fact response.

They are just finishing lunch at their greasy spoon and she is hidden behind the newspaper where she made her sudden request. Peeking out from around the edge of the sporting section she continues, "This Saturday is opening day at Belmont Park."

"Let me guess, more research."

"Precisely. Now if you'd rather not-"

"Lizzy, there is nothing like the smell of horses in springtime. I can think of nowhere I'd rather be on Saturday," he interjects, which earns him a smile before she again disappears from view.

The track sounds much better than the rink and he makes a note to call in a few favors for a box in the grandstand.

Not knowing what to expect when they arrive early on Saturday, Lizzy stops to take it all in. There is an excitement as the crowd files through the gates. The ladies are all in their summer dresses and hats and the gentlemen in their linen suits. She thinks it is lovely on this warm and clear day plus there _is_ something to be said for the earthy smell. Like the world is waking up after the harsh winter and ready to move again.

"Let's place our bets first thing."

She is too excited to wait, having secured the racing schedule ahead of time and made her picks. Raymond slips the paper from her hand to have a look at the lineup mumbling the names of the horses she has circled. _Good Samaritan, Stewmaker, The Djinn..._

"Lizzy, the odds on a few of your choices aren't that good-"

"Oh, but how can you go wrong with a name like _King of the Highway?_ And every horse deserves to have someone bet for it. _"_ she says peering at the list where he points.

"So your strategy is simply pick the names you like and also throw in a sympathy bet or two?"

She has to laugh at the absurdity of her own logic but it feels right so grabbing his arm she leads him toward the lines at the betting booths.

"Well, how about a friendly wager then. We'll place the same amount on all nine races. You use your method and I'll use mine and at the end of the day we'll tally up."

"You're on. What does the winner get?" he asks and she doesn't miss the glint in his eye.

"I'm sure we'll think of something but kiss me for luck and may the best man win."

He kisses her and they shake on it to seal the deal as they reach the window of the booth. They spend the afternoon in the grandstand cheering on their horses and enjoying this first day spent outside. Only a few races in, it is clear who is leading in their personal wager.

"The Kingmaker? What is it with you and kings? The odds of that horse coming in second and I suppose that was one of your place bets."

She only laughs as he rolls his eyes and the afternoon continues on. He wins one or two but luck is on her side today.

"Freelancer? At 20/1 odds! Lizzy, how on earth…"

But she is too busy cheering the winner of the grand prize to hear him. He watches her clap and wave as the beautiful thoroughbred gallops past and laughs seeing so many disappointed faces surrounding them as their tickets are thrown to the ground. She is oblivious to all and finally collapses in the chair next to him.

"Raymond, you were right. There is nothing like the smell of horses in spring."

Their earnings are compared in the car and she is declared the winner which is followed by a snicker from the front seat where Edward is driving them home. Raymond makes a comment about being outnumbered before taking her hand and bringing it to his lips. The prize is discussed and settled upon later that night to the enjoyment of both opponents.

* * *

"But where is Edward?"

He looks taken aback by the question as they stand on the sidewalk outside the journal this Friday afternoon. He has the passenger door of the car open for her but she has stopped just short. It is a convertible today with the top pulled down to enjoy the drive to the country for their weekend at the lake house. The one he mentioned to her the night of the storm when spring seemed so far away. Just a lovely image to hold onto but now it is finally here. A late birthday trip for her as he called it, if only they could be on their way.

"I imagine he is just getting to Atlantic City about now. The poor man deserves a little time off too, Lizzy."

"Well, I know but," and looking beyond him at the roadster parked at the curb, she gives him a dubious look, "do you know how to drive that thing?"

"I promise to get you there in one piece but preferably before dark so all aboard. Unless you'd rather not go-"

"Okay, okay," as she gives his shoulder a push before climbing in.

They set off and soon make their way out of the city, eventually stopping at a small diner before arriving at their destination around dusk.

The house is situated at the end of a long drive and with no other dwellings in sight. He guides her into the two story cottage straight through to the expansive patio out back with steps leading down to a small lake. All privately owned by his friend and theirs for the weekend.

Just what they need. Somewhere far from all the concrete where they can relax even for only a few days. They sleep late the next morning and then make a huge breakfast with the provisions Raymond made sure would be available and finally make it down to the lake around noon.

She's never seen him like this. Barefoot with pants and shirt sleeves rolled up and thinks they need to get out to the country more often now that the warm weather has arrived.

"Come on, Lizzy, we'll lake a tour of the lake."

There is no denying the romantic gesture is very nice and she lets him help her into the boat. He rows them around for a bit until they are drifting in the center with their faces turned toward the sun. After a while he decides their being at opposite ends of the boat just won't do and he carefully makes his way to her side.

"Raymond, do not tip us over," she says reaching out to hang onto the side.

"Now Lizzy, where is the trust?"

He makes it safely to her side and once settled, she leans against him and they drift some more content with the world. They can imagine staying here forever with the water gently lapping at the boat and the sound of birds chirping nearby.

Everything is perfect. That is until Lizzy hears a splash in the water as she is just nodding off. Sitting up she finds an oar drifting away and what is worse the other is already in the water quite a distance from the boat.

"Hey Captain, wake up."

She gives him a poke in the ribs to wake him and his look of chagrin is laughable. "It's all your fault distracting me like you do."

"May I remind you which side of the boat you're on."

"Pesky details, Lizzy, after all …..wait, what are you doing?"

She is up, balancing carefully to remove her dress leaving only a delightful little lacy something underneath and replies matter of factly, "I'm going to swim for that one furthest away and you get the one closest."

And before he can say much more she dives overboard and is off. The coldness of the water comes as a shock but she swims on and by the time she has made the return, Raymond is already back in the boat reaching for his pants.

"Now that's the view I came to the country for."

"Get in here. That water is cold as a witches….well nevermind, but get in here.

He helps haul her aboard and she sits shivering until he hands over her dress for her to slip into with a very sly expression that makes her laugh even before he remarks, "It's a good thing there aren't any neighbors. Quite a show we're putting on."

"Just row, will you? It's freezing out here now."

He rows and they make a dash for the house that ends with a pile of very soggy clothes and one very hot shower.

And afterwards as she lays back on their bed and pulls him down to join her she can't help teasing him, "Was this your plan all along, Raymond? There are easier ways, you know."

"Lizzy, I promise that did not go as I envisioned but I must say I love the results," and he leans down to the kiss that waits for him.

* * *

She wakes in an empty bed and stretches, not wanting to rise just yet, but as an idea takes hold she gets up dressing quickly and reaches to the bottom of her satchel to find what she is looking for. He is on the back patio and the late day feels warm and lazy with the sun dropping in the western sky. As casually as possible she places the typed pages that are now bound in book form next to him on the table.

"Good afternoon for reading, don't you think?"

Inside she is all nerves not having let him have a peek at the mystery he requested until this moment. It was too difficult after all these years of not writing to let someone, anyone, get that close to it. This is the perfect time, though. After all it is her gift to him in return for opening up this part of her life once more. For even knowing there was that in her that still longed for it.

He watches as she takes a seat opposite the table and looks out to the lake. Her profile gives nothing away but the drumming of her fingers tells a different tale.

Flipping to the title page he reads aloud, " _The Gambler_ by Sam Milhoan."

"My father's name," she remarks quietly. "He was an avid reader and it's fitting, I think."

"Very fitting, Lizzy."

She is still watching the water in the distance and he turns back to begin the story. There is a quiet chuckle once or twice but he says nothing for several minutes until finally, "So this criminal, Red Eddington, thank you for that by the way, strolls into the FBI to turn himself in saying he will only speak with one of the typists, Elizabeth Scott. This is marvelous, I'm hooked already."

This earns him a smile and a small glance in his direction before he continues on. Soon, he is up and walking around the patio as he reads.

"He has a list of criminals he is willing to help the feds catch if they clear his record? But why? There is something else going on, I'm sure of it. What is his connection to Elizabeth?"

"Keep reading," is her laughing reply and the pacing continues.

"The reactions of the agents are priceless. I think she is about to show them a woman can make an excellent detective."

"Oh, she is. Continue."

And just like that the nerves are gone and her eyes follow him back and forth, smiling at his enjoyment of the story.

"Lizzy, you realize you have written the two of us out catching criminals? Red and Elizabeth. There is something, well I'll just say it, romantic about this whole set-up."

"Funny how that happened. Keep going."

More pacing until the last page is read and he turns to her with a smile. "I'm glad to see this gambler fellow got what's coming to him and I see there is more mystery ahead. Am I guessing correctly that you plan for it to be a series now?"

"Actually yes. I'm giving it to a publisher friend of mine on Monday and hopefully it'll run in his detective magazine. That's the main reason for using my father's name."

He comes to stand near her as she rises to meet him and runs his hands around her waist to her back.

"Thank you for letting me read your work. It was wonderful and an absolute delight. I'm immensely impressed."

"It's only a little story though and they may not like-."

"Lizzy, don't do that. Don't diminish anything you create that will give others pleasure. There is nothing trivial or unimportant about it."

She reaches up to pull him closer to her as the tears prick her eyes.

"I really do love you, you know."

"I know."

And Monday when she learns it will indeed be published and that the editor is very interested in the continuation of the story, she will run all the way to The Plaza knowing Raymond is there waiting to hear the news. Pacing back and forth and he'll be as proud of her as she is for herself. For the first time in so long. This man who could shower her with diamonds but instead gave her something that is beyond value.

This present happiness is worth everything that came before and she will recall her words to him said in jest.

_All in good time._

Except now they mean so much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are many shout-outs in this chapter, some big and some small:  
> 1) TBL obviously and I guarantee Lizzy will write a better Elizabeth than TPTB.  
> 2) _The Gambler_ in loving memory of TBL comics.  
>  4) ”I love you” “I know” I tweaked it but I think we all know where this is from and I'm surprised it's taken me this long to steal it. In memory of a princess we recently lost.  
> 5) Red bringing Lizzy tea and giving her a kiss while she writes is definitely Jo and Friedrich from _Little Women._  
>  6) _Cinderella Man_ \- since Red and Lizzy couldn't see that famous match I made sure they at least saw Jimmy Braddock early in his boxing career
> 
> and last but not least…  
> 7) _All In Good Time_ \- recently used as the title for my pal TravelingSong’s cuckoo clock fic and just as her lovely story showed, it really is all about finding the right time with Red and Lizzy.


	15. It Had To Be You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had intended to finish this story with one additional chapter and an epilogue to follow but as it happens they needed to go together. So this is all she wrote as they say. 
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos along the way. Hope you enjoy the ending!

_It had to be you_  
_Wonderful you  
_ _It had to be you_

* * *

It was sometime in the weeks after their return from the lake house that she notices it. The restlessness that troubles his sleep. Catching him lost in thought only to have him brush aside her concern. _No Lizzy, everything is fine_ and most of the time she believes it. Until she wakes to find him at the window or hearing him quietly say her name and she thinks finally he will tell her but somehow he never does. Whatever conversation ensues she is certain is not what he had wanted to talk about.

A week passes since this unknown something caught her attention. _You can tell me whatever it is._ His nod and a kiss is her answer for now. She waits knowing he will come to her in his own time. The way it always is with them.

She doesn't wait long.

"Lizzy?"

"Hmmm."

She's asleep curled on her side facing away from him. The restlessness was back this evening as he sits in bed attempting to read but really only staring at the page before him.

"Lizzy…."

Silence and he's unsure how to begin and also unsure whether she is awake or not. Reaching out he runs a hand down her arm.

"Are you awake?"

"Nope."

Normally she can at least get a chuckle from him with her humor but not tonight. Suddenly she is very much awake and also very much hopeful he's at last ready to talk. Turning, she finds him still with a book in hand and would bet money he's on the same page as when she kissed him goodnight.

He seems uncertain now and a little guilty for having woken her. Thinking perhaps he needs a little help getting started, she takes the book from his hand and leans over him to deposit it on the table before returning to her side.

"Scoot down."

"What?"

"Scoot down," she says patting the space between them. "You're making my neck hurt."

The first little smile and he does as she asks. Soon he is facing her as they watch each other and she again tries to help.

"Whatever it is, I'd love to hear."

Her hand covers his to still the fingers tapping up and down. The nervous energy concentrated in their movement, but at last they relax under her own.

"I've been thinking of taking a trip to Arlington."

"I…"

She stops not even sure what her response would have been. Of all the things she had imagined him saying this was the last. He has never mentioned his family apart from the night he told her about them and she has never again broached the subject. Thankful he had told her at all but somehow fearful of wounding him further, she stayed silent.

"It's something I should have done long ago," he continues quietly.

"Then I think you should go."

But there is more. Something else he struggles to put into words, unsure of her response.

"I wondered…"

"Raymond, what is it?"

"Well, I wondered if you would accompany me?"

She moves into his arms and he has his answer even before she whispers, "Of course I will."

Hugging him close she doesn't let go until he relaxes into sleep. It sometimes slips her mind that the scars across his back are nothing compared to the damage within. That he has buried the memories and pain of that Christmas Eve under years of running from its tragedy. There is no need to ask the question _why now?_ She already knows as she watches him for a few moments before switching out the light and moving back to his side. He finally stopped running and the past has caught up with him.

* * *

They arrive in D.C. late on a Friday evening after taking the train down from New York. He was quiet on the journey and is pensive during dinner, letting her do most of the talking.

After a while she takes his hand and apologizes for rambling.

"I love your ramblings and it's keeping my mind occupied on more pleasant topics. Tell me about your latest story. I heard you up late last night so what case are Red and Elizabeth working on now?"

She begins the tale of their latest adventure and he finds himself lost in the story. Lost in the sound of her voice as he concentrates on their hands entwined before him. He could stay here forever and really that is the reason for this pilgrimage, he supposes. He wants to stay forever and to do that he must settle up with the past.

They are out early the next morning to walk toward the Capitol so that Lizzy may see it up close. They stroll around as tourists would and she lets him postpone for a time what he came here to do. After lunch as they are leaving the restaurant she walks ahead and after a short conversation with a cab driver nearby returns to his side.

"Okay, it's all arranged. That's Fred and I've hired him for the afternoon."

He lets her take charge and lead the way. _Tell me where they are._ She has decided the order of things and he answers quietly so the driver will know the destination. There is no need to speak again until they enter the gates and he gives a few directions. _Turn left, then right, then right again until…._

So many statues, monuments of every shape and size but he knows the one he is looking for when it finally comes into view. The landmark he fixed in his mind that terrible day to guide the way. Insuring they would never be lost to him even as he left and never returned. Perhaps somehow he knew even then he'd one day make his way back again.

"Stop here."

They leave the car and pass under the shadow of the winged figure to a path a little ways beyond leading to a small hill. He walks straight to them as if the passage of time had never been. Only the years have indeed added up and the earth has mended itself where he recalls taking a handful of dirt to scatter over them as tradition dictates.

The grass has returned with the spring and there are fresh flowers planted near the two stone markers joined in the center. He has never seen the monument but it was described to him later when it was placed. The one with their names carved deep as a testament that a wife and daughter were loved and should be remembered.

He runs his hand over the granite where the names are inscribed and then kneels to the small yellow flowers blooming at its base, brushing his fingers over the soft petals. When he stands she is there to take his hand and he holds on to her.

"She loved yellow."

"Who did?" she asks quietly after he doesn't continue, afraid he will shut away whatever memory came back.

"Jennifer. She insisted every dress be yellow much to the exasperation of her mother, I can tell you. She was so headstrong…"

He smiles at the vision of his wife and daughter locked in a battle of wills as the little girl insisted on wearing the same color everyday.

"That's why I have the flowers planted here every spring."

"They're lovely, Raymond."

It is the only memory he shares and they stay a while longer until he is ready. He's not sure if this is goodbye but he will carry the image of this early summer day with him now instead of the bleak winter morning full of disturbed earth and coffins disappearing from view that has haunted him all these years.

Once back in the car he gives the final direction to his former home and he is grateful it is daylight. Grateful he doesn't have to see it at night as he did that last evening coming home to the orange glow in the sky signaling the end of his world. He has the driver pull over a few blocks away so they can walk the quiet streets as he used to do long ago.

No smell of smoke this time as they draw nearer. No chaos as the firemen desperately fight what would not be won that night. Nothing remains to remind anyone of the despair that once occurred here. The years have washed it all away.

Part of him almost expected to find the charred remains of the row houses. The last three ending at his corner but of course he knows that cannot be. The property was sold long ago and he has given little thought of what became of it since, but a new home has been built in its place. Not really that similar in style or color of brick but it fits in with the neighborhood and he hopes there is happiness within its walls.

His eyes travel to the two adjacent, rebuilt as well, before coming back to the corner house. No scar left to mar this quiet street that was their home. It is as it should be. She would want it this way.

"She loved this area of the city. The neighbors close by and the children playing out front. I told her I would buy her a bigger house by the river but she said we would grow old here…"

He stops having gotten lost in the memory and turns to her.

"Lizzy, I'm sorry—"

"No Raymond, don't ever be sorry for having loved your wife or your life with them. You don't have to leave them here, they can come with you. They always could. I want to hear all their stories."

He gathers her close and they look toward the house as he fixes it in his memory, replacing the image of the burned ruin with this one. Sometimes beauty may rise from the ashes left in the wake of destruction and he leans down to kiss her through her hair. Sometimes a second life may be found in one lifetime.

"Do you know the Coopers? I'm afraid they're away on a trip to her mother's at the moment."

They turn to find the friendly smile of an elderly woman who noticed their interest in the house on the corner.

It is Raymond who answers for them, "No Madame, I knew a family that lived here once, but that was long ago. Good day to you."

They walk back to the car and he never lets go of her hand.

* * *

She had wondered about their trip to his home in the days after they returned to New York and finds herself quietly observing him. Wondering if he has made peace with the past even just a little. Wondering if things would return to normal.

They do not. Still there is something she can't quite define in the air around them. Not worrisome this time but different. _Raymond, what are you smiling at? You Lizzy, always you._ Her dubious look is met with a chuckle and so she'll wait to see what comes.

It comes much too early.

"Lizzy?"

She feels the poke on her shoulder and burrows down further under the cover.

"Are you awake?"

Opening one eye she squints toward the clock but can't make out the time in the darkness.

"Raymond, are you kidding me right now?" as she brings the cover over her head.

"There is something I want to show you."

"You did not seriously wake me up to-"

This makes him laugh and she does have a point. "Not this time but that's a fair question, I suppose. Lizzy, this is important. You won't be sorry."

Well, what can she do but grumble a bit as she gets up to switch on the light and stare disbelievingly at the clock displaying 4:30 am. After which she glares in his direction but he only laughs again telling her to hurry.

They are dressed and in the lobby of The Plaza a short time later where he stops to consider a moment.

"We could walk from here but we'll have the doorman get a cab instead. Better not to bother Edward this early."

She lets him mumble to himself and follows sleepily along until they are in the backseat for the short ride to their destination.

He takes her hand and they enter the lobby of an apartment building where he is evidently known to the doorman there who tips his hat as they pass.

"Raymond, where—"

He is watching impatiently as they climb higher in the elevator. "Wait, Lizzy. Almost there."

Finally and pulling her along they make their way down the carpeted corridor until he stops and pulls out a key.

He leads the way in switching on lights as he goes until there is a warm glow filling the rooms. Coming back he finds her still hesitating near the door and offers an apology.

"Lizzy, forgive me. I planned to bring you here tonight but found that I couldn't wait. He said the views across the park in the early morning are beautiful and I wanted us to see it together."

Her head is spinning as she attempts to make sense of what he is telling her.

"Who is _he_? And whose apartment is this anyway?"

He is looking through the windows where the sky is just turning pink with the first light of day before turning back to her.

"I really am making a mess of this, aren't I? This apartment is owned by a friend and he has plans to sell it. I wanted to bring you here to see if you would...that is to say if this would be somewhere you could see yourself….with me."

Ah, now she understands and for the first time she stops to take it all in. His excitement and nervousness which she hasn't often seen but is so touching considering the circumstances. This beautiful apartment that is important enough for him to drag her out of bed to be here in time for sunrise.

She smiles as she walks to him, stopping to observe him a moment. Knowing what he is asking in a most untraditional way but that is the way with them. Her hand grazes his cheek, a little stubbly this morning, and on around his neck to pull him forward. Just a kiss for now as the words catch in her throat.

He leads her through the rooms letting her take her time. It is large and more opulent than anything she is used to but there is something about it. It is not overdone and thinking back to the floor they arrived on she realizes it is not the penthouse. Just somewhere in between. High enough that he will have his view of the park but not too far removed from the world below.

In fact, there is something almost cozy about it. Like a family had lived here and were happy.

They pass a few bedrooms and enter what would be their room. Spacious with a sitting room and fireplace and the bedroom beyond. They will sit here after dinner with the fire going in winter or the balcony door open in summer. She sees them reading or listening to the radio and there is plenty of room should he ask her to dance.

The breakfast nook where they will start their day. A library where he takes her hand saying, "I thought this would make a nice office for us. It's large enough that we could share."

There are plenty of bookshelves to fill and he is right. There is more than enough room for the two of them. She likes the image that conjures. He at his desk handling business affairs while she plucks away on her typewriter. Working on her mysteries and perhaps a few other things she's been thinking of.

"I like this room very much."

He is starting to relax as she takes it all in and seeming to have the same reaction as when he first walked through. They arrive back in the great room and he goes to open the balcony doors with a terrace beyond. They make their way to the railing and listen for a moment to the city coming to life below them. It is still difficult to see with the sun not yet fully risen but the fading lights of the surrounding buildings are beautiful.

"I came to look the other day and the view is wonderful. High enough to see out over the trees and across the park. As soon as the sun is all the way up we'll be able to see the lake."

This is where they will watch the seasons change. They'll be here as the oranges and golds spread from leaf to leaf and will step outside when the first snowflakes fall this winter. All she has to do is close her eyes to picture them here.

Linking her arm through his to wait the sun's arrival she answers him at last.

"I see it all, Raymond. It's perfect."

* * *

The perfect home to grow old in.

Where their friends will gather to witness their exchange of vows. How it will rain incessantly that day but it won't matter after Mr. Kaplan tells them it means good luck.

This apartment they will fill with their treasures. The art they love and special reminders of their travels together. The stack of detective magazines he makes sure are protected as the story of Red and Elizabeth unfolds over the next few years until their final case is solved and they board a ship together. The books that are added next. The ones he will hear come to life as the little typewriter works through the night but this time each chapter is shared as her confidence grows. These books that will finally be published under her own name.

It is where they will raise their daughter. The baby they thought could never be but the one that arrives only minutes after midnight a few New Year's later. How she won't believe it is real at first but finally, finally will trust enough to tell him and of course he already has an inkling. But he'll wait for her knowing she will tell him in her own time as is their way. _Lizzy, this is going to be a great year_ when they hold their baby on the first day of a brand new year and how lucky they will feel.

There is a little collection of photographs in their sitting room they will add to over time. None are ever taken away as the newer additions arrive. Toward the back is where their journey began. A little girl laughing at a forgotten joke her father told her as they sit together on the steps of a little house in Nebraska. Lizzy smiling in the sun on their wedding trip to the lake house. Raymond at the railing of the ship when they cross the ocean together the first time. Their daughter the day she comes home with them. The baby asleep on his chest and the three of them holding hands as the ocean laps at their feet. Her first day of school and all the firsts that follow.

Raymond will often stop and go through each one beginning at the very back with a small silver frame. A mother and daughter together in a garden. There is no color to the faded image but he can feel the sun warm on his face as he recalls that day trying to get the little girl to hold still for the photographer. The bright yellow of her dress. The laughter he is able to hear now that he has let go of what scarred him and holds onto these few precious memories.

He will sometimes reach out to touch the frame, the one Lizzy will have made when she finds the photograph. One of only a handful he has of them, but she takes this cherished image and adds it with the others telling him it belongs here because it is his life. Because their life would never have been without the pain that came before and so his hand will move on to the next photograph and on and on through their years together.

Sometimes beauty may rise from the ashes.

The apartment will be witness to all these events but that is years in the unknown future as they watch the sun move higher in the eastern sky. Until Raymond says he will call to finalize the purchase as soon as possible and Lizzy laughingly requests they have breakfast first. After all, there is plenty of time.


End file.
